When Jacob came into our world, Alan and I had just set up a new business which had him working out of the house for very long twelve hour days, six or seven days a week.
I likened myself to a single parent for the first couple of years of Jacob’s life, being primarily responsible for his care, attending family functions and events alone if Alan was working, and ferrying Jacob around to creche and playdates.
As a result, Jacob is now the ultimate ‘Mammy’s Boy’ – he will only come to me if he’s hurt, he doesn’t like anyone else dressing him, he won’t go to bed without a fight if I’m not there and he (seriously) will only let me deal with his bathroom activity. That included almost every middle of the night when I was heavily pregnant with Eva. HURRAY (not).
When Eva came along and had colic, I was so busy dealing with Jacob and his night terrors and tantrums and all else, that Alan was in total charge of the little lady. He sat with her every single night on our rocking chair, laying her on his chest, and gently rocking her back and forth until she settled.
At one-and-a-half, she is now a complete Daddy’s Girl! If Alan is in the room, Eva won’t look at anyone else – she is so totally in love with him. If she is in the bath when he gets home from work, she will literally shouts for him and throws a leg over the side of the bath, trying to get out and get to him at maximum speed. It’s hilarious.
So do boys normally favour their mums for a time when they are small, and will girls always be Daddy’s girls?
Sometimes, toddlers are simply showing their independence by favouring one parent over another, i.e. demanding that ‘Daddy do it’ or vice versa, much in the same way as they will demand a particular toy or sippy cup.
Other times, it is simply that they are going through a phase that will eventually pass. I can see a difference in Jacob now that he is four and a bit in that he is really keen to do ‘boy stuff’ with dad. They make stuff out in the shed, they build Lego creations and play fight together.
So I assume that Eva will eventually get there with me too. The key, I think, is to not take it personally and cherish the moments that they are so dependent on you, because in the grand scheme of things, it really won’t be for long.
And I have to admit; not being the one solely depended upon by the littlest member of our family this time really does have it’s benefits. When Eva wakes up in the middle of the night, it’s pretty fab to be able to turn to Ass Monkey, put on a sad face and whisper ‘She’ll only want you, you better head in’.
Do your kids favour you over your partner, or vice versa? Let us know in the comments!
