An expert has offered up some great advice to a mum who is dealing with two little boys who ‘fight over everything’.
She explained that they argue with each other over ‘most things’ and her eldest has been losing his temper a lot with his younger brother.
“I have a five-and-a-half year old, three-and-a-half year old, and six-month old boys,” she told Newstalk’s Moncrieff.
“They fight over most things, the eldest losing his temper, getting quite angry and emotional and often lashing out.
“I try to give the eldest space from the younger boy to separate them but the younger one really gets upset about this and I have another battle on my hands.”
The mum went on to explain that bed time is their biggest battle because no one wants to be the first to be put to bed.
Joanna Fortune, a Child Psychologist offered up her advice to the struggling mum and said with all siblings, their relationship marks their first “very best friend” and “very worst enemy” at the same time.
She also said that given the two-year age difference between two of her boys, this “makes them developmental competitors”.
Having a new baby in the house also could be making the boys feel threatened, which would make them want to lash out as well.
Joanna said to expect this rivalry between the older boys to go on for “a while,” but the only thing a parent can do is make sure they are equipped for the situation.
“That sort of bickering that is going on between them is hitting you harder because you’re under resourced, exhausted and caring for a new child, a new baby.
“Before you take on how you’re going to respond and handle this, think in your own family network who can you pull in to help you with this, at least for a period of time.”
Joanna also recommended incorporating ‘collaborative play’ into their everyday routines so they learn “to play together, rather than against each other”.
She suggested a scavenger hunt, or lego time. Another great idea is to set a timer, she said, and tell the boys they cannot use words and can only communicate using facial expressions.
The “silliness” of the game is sure to get them laughing and playing together.
The most important thing to remember, according to Joanna, is to redirect the sons’ energy away from fighting and towards playing together.
Have you been dealing with something similar and found a solution that works for you? Let us know over on social media.
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