C is for colic – there is a special place in hell for people who say: “why is that child crying?” to the parent of a baby with colic. ‘Colic’ is one of those words most parents are afraid to even utter, lest it suddenly manifests in their sweet newborn baby. The Internet and baby books offer infuriatingly vague insights into what causes colic ranging from wind to anxiety. These provide no comfort whatsoever to those living with a colicky baby who cries approximately 22 hours a day. Parents with colic take heart, this too shall pass.
C is for c-section – the ‘out the sunroof’ option was in vogue a few years ago among the ‘too posh to push’ set, presumably until someone noticed that it takes exponentially longer to recover from major abdominal surgery than it does from a vaginal delivery. Of the many attendant downsides of the caesarian the worst has got to be that unlike other people who may take up to eight weeks to recovery from an invasive medical procedure, mothers get roughly 2 hours in the recovery room before then undertaking up to a year of broken sleep and heavy lifting. The main upsides of the c-section are the morphine drip and a blanket ban on exercise for the first 12 weeks postpartum. Pass the biscuits.
C is also for christening – the timing of the christening is key. When the baby first arrives there will be a deluge of presents. In our experience well wishers are most likely to give clothes for the 0-6 month period. Delay the Christening for six months, and you should be able to replenish your dwindling stocks of baby clothes in one fell swoop. Also, be aware that choosing godparents will be more political than the seating plan at a wedding.
Lastly, C is for co-sleeping – You may perhaps vow never to do this. You will do this. That is all.
