A really good friend of mine is expecting her second child and as we sat over tea last week, I declared “You’ll sail through this one, sure you know everything now!”
And she laughed, not with me, of course, but at me (which is cool coz we’re bessies, ya know?) as she reminded me, “You weren’t saying that a year ago”.
It took me a minute to realise what she was getting at: I was a bit of a nut case when my second child, Eva, came along for some of the same reasons as I was a nut case when Jacob was born in 2011.
The logistics of having kids seems to be my biggest problem. Perhaps I was a hermit in a past life or maybe I’ve just spent way too much time alone, writing on my laptop, that the process of incorporating new human beings into my life has been kind of stressful.
But that’s just a personal thing to me, a character trait that I’ve had to get over while figuring out a system to gett everyone into the car without having a nervous breakdown.
But the actual ‘mammy’ stuff? I had that stuff DOWN.
1. Baby feeding like a pro
I really struggled with breastfeeding with Jacob, and just feeding him in general when it came to weaning time. I scoured my parenting books for the perfect baby recipes to nourish our precious angel in the most organic way possible..
When Eva came along, I had a bit more information and a realistic approach to breastfeeding so it worked out much better. And weaning? That girl got a baby version of whatever was on our plates and she loved it. Sorted.
2. A ‘Stuff’ expert
Whenever I left the house with Jacob, even for five minutes, I brought the following items: nappies, wipes, nappy bags, three times of rash cream, two bottles, snacks, a baby book, change of clothes, thermometer, Calpol, Teethas, hats, scarves and gloves.
With Eva, I literally shove a couple of nappies, wipes and her bottle into my own handbag and we walk out the door.
Same goes for baby ‘stuff’ – we didn’t bother with half of the really expensive stuff that we had bought for Jacob. The girl was SO not down with the Bumbo seat.
3. App blindness
I signed up to three different pregnancy sites when pregnant with Jacob, which gave me the week-on-week developmental breakdown of his life in the womb and I still get one or two these days when he reaches a new birthday.
Eva? Didn’t sign up to one. Not one.
4. Baby whisperer
Whenever Jacob cried as a baby, we would descend into full-force panic mode. Red alert! Red alert! The child is crying! We picked him up, called our mothers, flung the SuperNanny book open, searching for answers. And it would be, you know, wind.
We could now have The Ru Paul Drag Race on at full volume in our living room, with Alan blending cocktails in the adjacent kitchen and a scullery maid hoovering all around us (I am describing my ideal evening) and in the motherly reaches of my psyche, I will hear Eva whimper from her room upstairs and know, just know, ‘She will be awake in two and a half minutes and she needs a bum change and 2.5mls Neurofen”. It’s like voodoo.
5. Developmental expert
We stared at Jacob for hours on end, willing him to turn over, put on weight, smile, crawl, grab things, walk and speak all at the ‘correct’ moments according to our parenting books. When he couldn’t say ‘cup of coffee’ but pronounced it ‘Tup of toffee’ instead, we nervously declared loudly that he was “very tall for his age, you know!”
With Eva, we know that she is an amazing little wonder in her own right, as are all other kids, and we are happily present and waiting for all the signs that she is growing up as and when she is ready to give them. Cue much excitement recently when she said ‘Where’s dadda?’ out of the blue and she really did know what she was saying. Bawwww….
Did you find some aspects of parenting easier the second time around? Join the conversation on Twitter @HerFamilydotie
