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26th Jul 2021

“I’m right here if you get stuck” – 9 phrases Montessori teachers use to build resilient kids

Kat O'Connor

Montessori teachers swear by these 9 key phrases in helping our kids develop.

We truly don’t know what we would do without our kids’ Montessori teachers. They’ve got enough patience to last a lifetime, they’re kind, encouraging, and make motherhood the tiniest bit easier.

They’re helping our children develop and grow and seriously never get enough credit. They build their confidence, open their minds, and have helped make them resilient little humans.

Resilience is all about being able to stand up and brush things off, even when things aren’t working out the way you hoped.

It’s about finding the strength to push yourself and to keep going in times of crisis. It is a life skill we all need.

According to Motherly, there are 9 key phrases Montessori teachers use to build resilience in children.

  1. I want you to try, but I’m right here if you get stuck.

A little reassurance goes a long way. Sometimes, we need to know that there is someone there for us if we need help. Sometimes we can get too involved and that takes independence and self-belief away from our child. We need to ensure that they believe they can do things themselves so cheering them on from the sidelines is the way to go.

If we try and take over, our kids will think they’re not capable so let’s keep it balanced.

2. Do you remember when tying your shoes was so hard?

This is all about reminding them of their successes so far, whether it was learning how to tie their shoelaces or being able to count to 10. This will help them see that they’re capable of achieving more and that they can overcome any obstacle they face.

3. That was hard, but you did it.

Even if a child has struggled with a task, it’s important to remind them of their progress. Acknowledging what they have achieved and how tricky it was will help them see how capable they are. It will also boost their confidence as they’ll realise they can overcome hurdles, even the tough ones.

4. Who could you ask for help?

This is a great way to teach your child about support networks. There is always someone in your corner that you can turn to, no matter how old you are.

This problem-solving technique will teach them how to handle problems. It is a perfect way to educate them about overcoming problems instead of fixing everything for them instantly.

5. Which part can I help you with?

Did anyone else wish their parents could just finish the complicated tasks for them when they were younger? If only life was that easy. Instead of swooping in and saving the day, why don’t you ask what you can do to help? This gives the child a sense of responsibility and power too. It also helps them figure out what it is they need help with, whether that is a spelling or a bigger problem.

This will prove to your child that help is there when you need it.

6. I need your help

Contributing and helping others is great for your child’s development. It offers them a sense of purpose and will help them see that they’re capable of doing so much.

You can ask them to help out with little things like grocery shopping, preparing dinner, even tidying their bedroom.

When they see you asking for help it will reassure them that it is okay for them to do the same.

7. Do you need to take a break?

Sometimes things can get a little bit overwhelming and tiring, even for our tiny humans. One thing that will help is encouraging them to take a break. This could be a 5-minute dance break to boost their energy or a little stroll around the park. It is important to teach them about having a healthy balance in life.

There’s never any harm in taking a time-out so teaching them about it from a young age is key.

8. That was hard for me, but I did it. I’m proud.

Celebrating our achievements is something we need to do more often. Having pride in yourself and your abilities helps build confidence. Kids may think everything comes naturally to parents, but we all know that isn’t the case at all.

Showing them that you have hurdles you must overcome is important because they’ll realise they’re not alone in their struggles. It helps normalise setbacks for them so if something doesn’t work out they’ll be able to cope with it better.

9. You look really upset, would you like help to talk to your friend?

You get by with a little help from your friends. Even as adults we all need somebody to lean on from time to time. It is important for our children to know that they’ve got people in their corner who they can rely on.

Encouraging your kid to open up about their feelings to their friends is a perfect way to build resilience. It also prevents them from bottling everything up and carrying their problems around on their shoulders.

Kids often bicker with their friends over little things like stolen crayons or not being invited to play, but expressing how those things made them feel will help them become more resilient.

Encourage them to tell their friends how they feel. A problem shared is a problem halved.