Opinion: Why is 'Daddy Issues' considered a failing of daughters and not fathers?
I've always hated the term 'Daddy Issues'.
Time and time again I've heard the phrase 'oh she had Daddy Issues' used to mock women and girls.
It has always perplexed me.
If a woman is suffering from mental health issues due to being neglected or traumatized as a child (a) why would you mock someone dealing with mental health issues and (b) why it her failing if her father is the one who caused the issues?
Don't get me wrong, there are mothers who let down there children and there are boys who are neglected by their parents too, I'm not saying that doesn't happen.
What I am saying is that the term 'Daddy Issues' needs to get in the bin in this day and age.
It has been used over and over again in all sorts of media from film and TV shows to books and music.
It's bad enough that young women have to deal with an absent or even abusive father figure, without being degraded for showing the signs of trauma caused by this neglect or abuse.
By continuing to use 'Daddy Issues' against young women, we're telling them that not only is their trauma their fault but that their mental health is a joke.
To add insult to injury when you search Daddy Issues on Google you get no end of articles either telling you 'how to spot a woman with Daddy Issues' or 'How to tell if you have Daddy Issues'.
Very few of these articles talk about the root cause of these issues but more give examples on how women can hide their mental health problems.
Speaking on the topic of Daddy Issues, Mental Health expert Ashley Laderer says;
"It seems it’s always spoken as an insult — “Oh, she’s got major daddy issues” in a tone of voice that sounds like they might as well be accusing the person of having the plague."
Amy Cirbus Ph.D, says that rather than using unhelpful phrases, women showing signs of trauma should be steered towards positive mental health guidence;
"Taking the time to understand, process, and work through the unresolved grievances and feelings we have about our parents is essential. Healing ourselves gives us the ability to have healthy partnerships that are equal and fulfilling."
If you or someone you know is suffering with their mental health here are some helpful numbers:
Samaritans: 116 123
Pieta House: 1800 247 247
The ISPCC’s Support Line: 01 522 4300.