Making Ends Meet: One Mum’s Story About Asking For Financial Help

"We have a special filing system just for solicitor’s letter alone, you know things are bad"

Mary hit rock bottom financially when her husband lost his job during the recession. Because he was self-employed, they had no financial assistance to fall back on. They began struggling to pay bills yet every time she left the house she she hid behind a mask. She was ashamed of the situation she found herself in.

"Oh my God, it’s a curse. I think it’s an Irish curse. You can’t have the neighbours seeing how bad things are. You can’t, you know, you let yourself go to where you’re nearly crawling on the ground before you’ll ask for help. And that’s wrong. It’s so wrong."

Eventually a relative persuaded Mary to seek the help she so badly needed and she approached the St Vincent de Paul. The Irish charity has helped hundreds of thousands of Irish families over the years. Those who have fallen on hard times when they least expected it and with their assistance, they helped get them back on their feet.

 "I went up the stairs and knocked at the door. And as I was going up the steps, I was going ‘No, I can turn around, I can turn around.’ And I knocked at the door and I walked in and for some reason I just broke down and told my story. And that was it. Everything was fine. Somebody was listening to me. That, first of all, believed that I had no money. Do you know? And secondly just made everything seem to be OK. It was like ‘OK, we can manage. That’s no trouble.’ And it was the best thing I ever did. When you’re used to people constantly looking for money that you don’t have, and you’re saying you don’t have it. And then this woman is across just going ‘Yeah, I understand."

Mary believes that part of the problem is that people are afraid others will cast aspersions on them if they put their hand up for help but she was relieved to know the entire process was totally discreet.

"And that was it, from that day on wards, like nobody knew. Every Thursday morning I’d get up and I’d come out and there was an envelope on the floor. For my electric, for my food and for my coal. Every Thursday. I don’t whether it came at three o’clock in the morning, it was like Santa Claus every Thursday morning. Nobody knew. Even when they came to visit the house it was in the dead of night. It was so private."

The financial help gave Mary the headspace she needed to focus on getting a good job. She found work in a restaurant and once she was in a position to do so, she was able to stop taking the help. Now, despite her modest wage, Mary donates €20 a month to the St Vincent de Paul. If you would like to help a family in need you can donate here to the St Vincent de Paul and help those in your community who need it the most.