This may be a bit rash, but jinxing be damned, we’re just going to say it. Summer’s here. For the next few days at least. This got us thinking about the broad chasm between expectations vs. reality of hot weather in Ireland and most specifically being a parent during hot weather. You have notions of cocktails and harmonious family outings to the beach but then between the sand and the over-tiredness the reality is usually ALOT more fraught than we could ever have anticipated.
10 expectations that every parent has during hot weather
1. Expectation: The heat will tire them out.
Reality: Children are impervious to heat.
What you need to know: Their energy is not sapped by the heat as ours is, if anything they derive more energy from it.
2. Expectation: The good weather puts EVERYONE in a great mood.
Reality: Their low-grade whinging intensifies due to heat and discomfort.
What you need to know: Driving in a hot car with the windows down will drown them out and cool everyone off.
3. Expectation: We can get ice cream for a treat by the beach.
Reality: You will placate them and medicate yourself with ice creams.
What you need to know: The loss of ice cream through accident or even theft is inevitable, cue tantrum.
4. Expectation: We’re anticipating a bit of complaining when the suncream comes out.
Reality: The suncream is an all out battle. A sticky, slippy war and there are no winners.
What you need to know: Every parent attempts the ambush. The little darlings put up such a fight that one could easily become tempted to let them suffer the sunburn. Don’t. It’ll still be you paying for it later when they’re in agony and furious.
5 Expectation: Sun cream will probably be a bit messy.
Reality: Sun cream will increase your child’s base level of stickiness EXPONENTIALLY. Everything will become stuck to them as soon as that suncream coupled with the drips from the ice cream comes into play. Sand, grit, leaves, bits of egg sandwich, everything.
What you need to know: The stickiness levels will not be decreasing until a hose down later. Use the stickiness to your advantage, store items – keys, parking ticket, phone – within easy reach stuck on your child’s person.
6 Expectation: This sun hat will protect them from the sun’s harmful rays.
Reality: As a race we have explored Space and invented the garlic press but can we come up with a sun hat that will stay on a child’s head? NO.
What you need to know: An unused nappy doubles as a sunhat when you find yourself caught short. It is also undeniably amusing.
7 Expectation: A trip to the beach will be fun.
Reality: Sand. Gets. Everywhere.
What you need to know: You will never rid yourselves of this sand-plague. This is your life now, an all-pervading grittiness will accompany you every day. Forever.
8 Expectation: The sun is shining, let’s sit out in the garden with a nice chilled drink.
Reality: The sun is shining, let’s sit out in the garden and watch them transport soil from one location to another for the afternoon.
What you need to know: Where the refills are kept.
9 Expectation: We took every conceivable precaution against sunburn, despite their resistance. Go us.
Reality: They WILL get sunburned. It is a foregone conclusion unfortunately. No matter how fastidious your efforts may have been. Sunburn is insidious, it gets into the most unlikely places, like the gap between their toes or that tiny, infinitesimally small stretch of exposed skin behind their ear usually covered by hair. And they WILL blame you for it.
What you need to know: This too shall pass.
10 Expectation: We will file away these hard-learned lessons for the next bit of ‘weather’. We won’t be making these rookie mistakes again.
Reality: You will suffer good weather amnesia at some point and make all these mistakes again.
What you need to know: That’s kind of the fun of it.
