I wouldn’t describe my four year-old son as a shy child, but he certainly has had his fair share of shy moments.
As he attended a creche from the grand old age of one, and has been dragged by his long-suffering mother to playdate after playdate, you could say he is fairly well socialised.
He also seems to have a cute circle of friends in his pre-school that I hope he will hold onto as he grows up through his primary school years.
I wouldn’t have described him as particularly ‘showy’, though, until we attended his music school concert recently and were completely floored by his confidence.
When his name was called, he hopped up on stage without a single hesitation and played his little tambourine like a four-year-old pro.
So what did we do right, to bring up a quietly confident child?
Experts say that there are several steps you should follow if you want your child to feel confident:
1. Don’t be overly critical and always try to look for the positive: “It’s ok you put your shoes on the wrong feet – I bet you’ll get it right the next time because I know you’re so smart”
2. Remind them that they are special: “You are the best boy/girl in the whole world” (I’m always at that one – who isn’t?!)
3. Anticipate good behaviour rather than bad: “I know you’re going to help me with your sick little sister because you’re such a good boy”
4. Let them know you believe in them: “You did such a good job building that robot/painting a picture of grandad..etc”
5. Heap on the praise: it IS hard to ignore bad behaviour and REALLY bad behaviour should be address but if possible, try to give more attention and praise for the really good stuff. Kisses, hugs and high fives are a must!
When our kids are small, they are so impressionable and sensitive to being overly criticised or having their good behaviours and accomplishments recognised.
Of course, despite our greatest efforts as parents, not all children will be naturally the confident ones and in that instance, nature plays a huge part.
But we have this great opportunity within a short window when they are smallies to make them feel happy to be themselves and loved for who they are, and so let’s make that responsibility a real priority.
What do you do to help your child feel confident? Let us know in the comments on Facebook.
