Aisling Farinella is one of Ireland’s leading stylists, working as a consultant and creative director on projects ranging from brand development to fashion shows, exhibitions and installations. She’s also the editor and co-founder of Thread magazine, a free print fashion publication. She lives in Dublin with her husband and daughter, Franca.
We caught up with Aisling on all the things she has learned about motherhood:
1. I’m still learning
“No matter how many mountains we climb, obstacles we overcome and stunt rolls we recover from, there is always a new one ahead. It’s not a cliché, it’s a truth that children grow up fast and we are challenged to keep up with them! Franca recently moved from the toddler room to the Playroom at crèche and we were hit with a monumental change, one which I really hadn’t anticipated. There were weeks of toddler protest enhanced by a distraught and stressed-out mum. In the end, with the help of our amazing crèche and some proper scheduling, we got things back on track.
2. Happy mum, happy baby
As difficult as it is to leave Franca in crèche every morning, I love my work for both the creative outlet and the financial independence it gives me. I hope to be a positive role model for my daughter with the exciting career I have built and all the wonderful experiences I have to share with her. The first year was a whirlwind for me, silently changing nappies mid conference call, breastfeeding out the back of London Fashion Week in a designer dress and bringing Franca along to endless coffee meetings, but all of this madness remains as so many happy memories now.
3. Priorities
Franca comes first. As demanding as work can be at times, I don’t allow it to impact on Franca time. I make huge efforts to keep my phone off at home, stay off the laptop, and you’ll be hard pushed to see me at an evening event or working on a weekend. Another self-employed friend of mine who had a daughter around the same time also taught me to apply the ‘Franca filter’ to any jobs I take on. That means no work for free and no stressy clients – I make sure everything I take on will be worth it.
4. Women are amazing
We give so much of ourselves to our children and we give so much of ourselves to each other. Motherhood has brought amazing new friends and relationships. That came as a big surprise for me. I definitely feared an aspect of ‘isolation’ before having a child coming from an inevitable change of lifestyle, but in contrast, I find myself incredibly supported. I’ve never been very good at looking for help but being a mum has turned this around for me.
5. Body attitude!
I have a new respect for (and understanding of) my body. It’s so not perfect, it never was and em, it’s not going to be now as I’m getting older… but it is mine, it’s healthy and that’s great. There are so many other things to focus on. Motherhood has (slowly) given me a whole new attitude towards myself. I have the most beautiful, funny, gentle daughter who thinks I am awesome, so really, I must be.
6. Roll them in
I picked up this advice from a friend’s mum before getting pregnant and it’s one of the best things I’ve learned. Work, travel, seeing friends, experiencing culture, cooking, exercise, whatever you do that makes you YOU… just get them involved. It’s definitely not always easy but you never regret the things you do.
It blows my mind how much kids emulate parents. Phrases, actions, attitude, tone… dance moves. They are constantly observing and soaking up all and everything that you do. Greeting people on the street, cats under cars, dogs in the park. Showing affection, curiosity, saying please and thank you. Trying on shoes. All the small gestures along with the big actions we take are like blueprints to help them navigate the big bold world.
8. Take a leaf from their book
Motherhood has enriched my life in so many ways by slowing me down, bringing me to the playground every other day, introducing me to new stories and cherished old ones and bringing a whole new excited and endlessly (hop bunny, hop hop hop) energetic perspective on life. Roll around on the floor, run in the park, sing made-up songs and enjoy every moment!
9. I’d crack without my partner!
I’m very lucky to have a wonderful husband who is also an amazing dad. I’d be lost without him. I’ve found motherhood to be full-time demanding and full of uncertainty, insecurities, and difficult decisions, all aided and abetted by sleepless nights, continuously shifting ground and no way to know whether or not I’m making a mess of it! No relationship could possibly go through all this unscathed, but I am very lucky to have David always in my corner.
