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Family dynamics

22nd Dec 2019

Grandmother wants to charge her family for eating Christmas dinner

Olivia Hayes

Do you think it’s right to pay the host of your Christmas dinner?

Many of us will go over to family or friends houses for Christmas dinner – most families even have certain traditions that are carried out every year.

However, has your family ever asked you to pay for dinner?

This person took to Mumsnet to say her partner’s grandmother asked for money:

“AIBU to think you should ask family to pay for their Xmas lunch? My partner has just told me that his mother who he’s having Christmas lunch with said she wants £17 per head from him!

“I’m going to my family’s for lunch so invited him also but he has had it there all his life with his grandparents and siblings too. She said she doesn’t want to do it all from scratch and wants to get it all pre done so it’s more money, which I understand but he’s gutted and feels like he wants to come to my family now.

“I can see it from both sides and it’s hard work and can be expensive but not like she is financially destitute.

“This has never happened before and he has offered to bring the dessert etc but he said handing over cash just feels wrong. As he says it’s about family not money but I wanted to see what other people’s opinions are.”

There was a lot of back and forth in the comments section, with some people agreeing that he should pay, while others said it was “horrible idea.”

One said:

“Tbh it sounds like his mother is just fed up with being the only one organising and cooking the Christmas dinner every year. Has it ever occurred to him to pitch in? To take a dish? Or is it all just left to Mum?”

While another wrote:

“OMG! No! That is horrible.

“We host Christmas: buy the turkey and pudding, everyone else brings a dish eg sausages in blankets etc. That shares the cost and the work.

“Cannot think of anything less hospitable than setting the menu and demanding your ‘guests’ pay for it.”

What do you think?