Our resident Organisational Psychologist, Coach and Mum, Leisha McGrath is here to answer your burning questions on returning to work from maternity leave and how to achieve a healthy work/life balance:
Sarah in Cork sent us this question:
Q: I'm back to work after my maternity leave and finding that I'm constantly having to work after the kids are gone to bed to stay on top of my workload. It's totally exhausting. I feel like I am never not working or dealing with work correspondence at all hours. What can I do?
First off, can I just say that I TOTALLY empathise. As will so many other mums out there. Juggling, prioritising and staying on top of it all
is hard. It's exhausting to attempt your previous, pre-baby routine after maternity leave ends. But there are some things that you can do to address and improve the struggle. In my view, you need to look at two relationships; 1) with your boss. 2) with yourself.
Here are some suggestions:
1. Your boss
- Speak to your boss and be honest about the situation, post maternity leave. I know in some cases this can be seen as a sign of weakness, but if there is a risk that a ball will be dropped, all bosses will want to know in advance, to ensure that it doesn't happen. Phrase your delivery in an adult and responsible tone. You want to do a great job. You are focused on quality. You wanted to flag this with him/ her. You do not want to make any mistakes. You want to work together to build a solution to fix the problem.
- Prepare a solution in advance. Pinpoint where the overload is. Is there not enough staff? Are other colleagues signing you and your team up for deadlines that are unrealistic? Do you need training on a new IT system? Highlight the issues and come up with a proactive solution that will address the problem.
- Once you and your boss or manager are now both talking proactively about addressing the issue, it is vital that you both sign up for whatever the agreed solution is. If your boss is not interested in addressing the issue, you may need to escalate things to another manager. If s/he will work with you on this, then agree a plan of action and an associated timeline.
- While this is the “data” end of fixing the problem, you will also need to have a frank discussion with your boss about your availability. Decide on and be clear about your boundaries. These may include, for example, not answering emails after 7pm at night, or not responding at all on a Sunday. Whatever the boundaries are, you need to specify and agree them, and then YOU need to stick to them. You can explain to your boss that once you have had a break you will return to work re-vitalised and refreshed and ready to add value the next day.
2. Yourself
Ever heard the saying “it is not the stressor but our response to the stressor that is important”? What this means is that for one person, the level of work you describe could be exciting and energising, but for another, it may not be. Different strokes for different folks. What matters is your response. It would seem to me that if you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, you may not be taking enough time for yourself to replenish and recover from your day. You might want to ask yourself:
- What do I need to do clear my head?
- What do I enjoy doing for myself that makes me feel valued?
- When did I last do this?
- When will I take time out next?
Research shows that taking time out to recover and replenish ourselves will positively affect the work that we will subsequently deliver and improve the quality of the relationships that we have. So please, see the value in this, and schedule some time for yourself, in much the same way as you would a meeting with your boss or your colleague. You are more important!
Do you have a question for Leisha McGrath? Send us an email in confidence to editorial@herfamily.ie or check out her website, lma.ie.
