Can you imagine finding the time to be in a band on top of being a mum? Nope, neither can we. But that is exactly what Honey Ryder‘s Lindsay O’Mahoney does. She is mum to two young boys, Max and Ozzie, and she’s also in a cool band. We caught up with her to find out how she squeezes everything in…
As a kid I loved listening to music and I started learning the piano at 4 years old. At school, I was always bossing my friends around and forming girl bands, singing a capella in the playground. When I was 15, a friend of mine told me about a cover band called The King Cut Groovers who were looking for a female singer. I jumped at the chance and have been in bands ever since.
If I’m looking after my kids then my routine is the same as every other mum in the country. My eldest little boy is in reception at school and my youngest little boy is only 2 so I take him to playgroups, the park and hang out with friends or family. If I’m doing Honey Ryder stuff, then there isn’t a routine, it’s always different.
I don’t spend a huge amount of time away from my family. Like I said, my toddler goes to nursery two days a week and on these days, I try to arrange writing, rehearsal or recording days. If I have band duties on any other day of the week, then either my husband, mum or mother-in-law step in to help. If I go away, it’s usually for only a night or two.
I love seeing their little personalities develop and also it’s lovely to observe the joy of innocence in children. They find the simplest things amazing. For instance, yesterday there was a beautiful sunset and you could see the moon at the same time. They were both squealing with delight in the back of the car. As adults, we get caught up in the pressures of every day life and forget to live in the moment. My kids remind me to do that more.
The main difference in life post-mum is being able to go to the toilet on your own! I used to take a solitary toilet visit in the pre-mum days for granted. But on a more serious note, the main thing is that you need to think about the needs of others way beyond your own, which isn’t a bad thing I guess.
The best piece of advice I’ve ever received? From a music point of view, someone once said to me: “listen to everyone and listen to no-one.” In other words, listen to all different opinions and arm yourself with information but ultimately listen to your gut instinct. From a family point of view, someone once said: “don’t have ‘em!” Just joking, I’m actually so tired from being up during the night with my son that I can’t remember a single piece of advice I’ve been given!
I read something the other day that recommended giving your child a hug when they’ve been playing up. It’s not necessarily an instinctive thing to do, because they’ve probably been driving you nuts, but sometimes their tantrums are born out of frustration and if you try killing them with kindness, you can dissipate the tantrum quicker. You obviously have to pick your moment though as sometimes they need to be reprimanded, but I tried it the other day and my little boy dissolved into tears and I realised it was simply tiredness.
I’d hope that my kids learn to really love something, as in have a passion for something. I think a lot of teenagers and adults feel lost as they don’t continue with interests that they had as a child. Music was my pastime for many years and gave me immense joy. All kids start off with creativity within them and gradually as a society, we tend to squeeze it out of them, focusing instead on the academic side of schooling which is obviously very important, but being creative is medicine for the mind.
Being a parent means everything! They’re the best thing I ever did. It is difficult, of course, but my husband, parents and mother-in-law are all very supportive. I also have an amazing extended family and have uncles, aunts and cousins who are always there for me.
Heaven is… a massage followed by a bottle of wine, a boxset and the kids sleeping soundly upstairs.
