Motherhood is full of double standards.
In all sorts of ways, in fairness, but maybe especially so when it comes to all things food-related.
“No, you can’t have a Kinder Egg, it is Tuesday today.” Me. To 5-year-old, reminding her of our Only-Sweets-On-Saturdays rule. And omitting to mention that I myself, only moments earlier, almost inhaled a packet of Cadbury’s buttons.
The same goes every morning when I remind my sleepy and not-very-willing-to-eat children how breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Harp on in fact, as I shove toast and scrambled eggs into them, about how if they don’t eat their breakfast, they won’t be able to learn anything in school (or creche), play with their friends or grow any muscles.
And then, as the last crumb is cleared from their plates and I make my exit (my other half does the morning drop-offs), I realize (yet again!) that I myself actually had no breakfast. No Pinterest-worthy smoothie. No trendy overnight oats. Not even a bowl of Cheerios. Looks like it’ll be a venti latte for brekkie. Again.
There is comfort in numbers, though, and I am definitively NOT alone in my mornings being too busy for breakfast. According to a recent study on Irish mums’ breakfast habits, it turns out that a whopping 73 percent of Irish mums believe it’s more important to get the family ready for the day than have breakfast themselves. Wow. We are a self-sacrificing lot, aren’t we?
The study, compiled by Flahavan’s and Keelings, also revealed that more than half of Irish mothers skip breakfast to save time, and that one in three of us just have tea or coffee as our morning “meal”. Ouch. We really should practice what we preach! (In this instant, and many, many more!).
But everyone in possession of children knows just how damn hard it can be to find the time when mornings look like a scene from a post-apocalyptic war movie. Here are ten reasons I ended up having coffee for breakfast THIS morning (and more than likely, tomorrow morning too.)
1. My 5-year-old declares she does – in fact – have some spellings to do for school today. (She just FORGOT that she did when I asked her 24 times yesterday afternoon). Goodbye, breakfast. Hello homework.
2. I realize that my hair – that I thought was OK to leave another day before washing – is, in fact, gross. Goodbye breakfast, hello clean (and presentable!) hair.
3. 2-year-old can’t find his FAVORITE little red bus. This turn into such a disaster that I have to abandon EVERYTHING to find that flippin’ bus! Goodbye breakfast. Hello crazy-lost-toy-hunt. (Again.)
4. Bus found, but now his left shoe is missing. I know people struggle with lost socks, but HOW can you lose actual whole shoes as often as my kids do?! Goodbye breakfast. Hello shoe-hunt.
5. Make toast with sliced banana for both children, only to be told the brown bits on the banana (like, barely visible little brown specks) will make my 5-year-old sick if I make her eat them. Throw banana toast in the bin and whip up cheese toasties with sliced peppers instead. Goodbye breakfast. Hello demanding who-do-they-think-they-are children.
6. No school uniforms at our school (the bane of my life, as it happens.) Spend 22 minutes arguing with 5-year-old over why she can’t go to school in her Tinkerbell outfit. Goodbye breakfast. Hello fully (and appropriately) dressed child.
7. Have one of those wardrobe-bursting-but-still-have-nothing-to-wear moments and spend a good 17 minutes digging out something, anything, that looks semi-wearable for work. Why is it that all my clothes have banana or ketchup on them?! Goodbye breakfast. Hello I NEED TO GO SHOPPING!
8. Try to dress an unwilling 2-year-old for a full 9 minutes before actually considering letting him go to creche naked. Goodbye breakfast. Hello Child Protective Services.
9. Have both kids in their shoes and jackets when I get that familiar scent – the one scent you do NOT want to smell four seconds before you HAVE to be out the door. Goodbye breakfast. Hello poop.
10. Actually manage to jam some yoghurt, a handful of oats and a banana into the blender and make myself a (simpler than simple) smoothie to bring onto the Luas for my commute. Leave it (my bad!) on the shoe-rack for a moment while looking for 5-year-olds lost hair-clip. Return to find 2-year-old putting bits of hardened play-dough into my smoothie. Cry a little. Goodbye breakfast. Hello COFFEE.
In all honesty, though, my fellow mums; let’s stop running on empty. Skipping breakfast is a hallmark of a hectic mum-life, but in the long run this is not a great idea. Also, really, we should be leading by example as research shows that children of breakfast skippers are more likely to skip breakfast themselves. Whoops!
