‘My five-year-old wants to change her name – what should I do?’

Sophie Collins

A concerned father has asked for advice on how to navigate changing his very young daughter’s name.

He explained that she decided to change her name from Rosemary to Jenna – for a good enough reason in our books.

The little girl has a speech impediment and can’t say her own name without feeling “sad and silly,” she told her dad.

She woke up one day and decided to take matters into her own hands, and ask that people call her Jenna from now on – because she could say that name.

The five-year-old went to school the following day and asked that people refer to her by her new moniker, but she was met with defiance from her teachers.

Her father explained: “A few days before school started this year, my five year old daughter woke up and decided she didn’t like her name anymore and wanted to go by Jenna.”

He said: “She has a speech impediment and has a very hard time saying it.

“We obviously decided to respect it and she’s been Jenna with family ever since. She’s still very adamant that she is Jenna, and is not to be called her old name. When school started for the year, we didn’t think to inform the school because she had just started going by Jenna and we didn’t expect it to stick.”

Jenna then headed into school and arrived home very upset that they would only call her by her old name.

“She says she asked her teacher to call her Jenna and was told no because first of all it’s not her ‘real’ name, and second she can’t go by Jenna anyway because there’s already a Jenna in the class.

“She has asked me call the school and ask them to call her Jenna because hearing her old name makes her feel silly and sad. I haven’t spoken to the teacher or the school myself, so I haven’t heard the teacher’s thoughts but I’m planning on calling tomorrow to sort this all out.”

He went on to say that he is not really sure how to go about this, “and after talking to a teacher friend, I’m not even sure if they’ll allow it because it isn’t her legal name but it’s very important to my wife and I that she feels respected and heard”.

He then asked for other people’s advice or opinion on the situation, and it was met by hundreds of comments.

One person said: “You can talk to the teacher but don’t go in guns blazing. The teacher probably thought your daughter was trying to be silly and go by the same name as her friend. Maybe she thought it was a passing thing and your daughter would want to go by Jenna today and Hannah tomorrow and Ava the next day.”

Another added: “I would talk with the teacher and let her know that daughter has a preferred name and you’d like to have her referred by that name. Ask her/him if it’s possible.

“Also, I think it’s great that your respecting your daughter and her preference. However, the school may push back if they think that in 3 months she decides to go by Emma and then Taylor and etc. so I’d be sensitive to that and prepared to respond.”

Let us know what you would do in this situation over on our social media.