Both my children are rather, ehm, strong-willed.
Which, you know, is something I kind of love, as I don't want them to be push-overs or someone who always yields to what everyone else wants.
(Note: I love it a little
less when they direct all that will into fighting me over appropriate outfits or wanting eat spaghetti (and tomato sauce!) not on their perfectly wipe-down-able high chair, but on my brand-new gorgeous Danish dining chairs...)
Anyway, as it turns out, raising stubborn (strong-willed, strong-willed) children might not be the easiest at times, but, according to experts, stubbornness, while seen as a rather annoying characteristic in a child, will actually turn into rather positive attributes once they are adults.
A recently completed
study, which tracked students from their late primary years until well into adulthood, found that kids who frequently break the rules or otherwise defy their parents often go on to become educational over-achievers and high-earning adults.
Here's why:
1. Stubborn children are determined
Being stubborn automatically means being determined, meaning when they want something, they will find a way to get it. Determined children will excel at weighing risks and finding out which avenue to pursue in order to get the desired result. They will also more than likely be resourceful and have great tenacity to succeed.
The study above doesn’t explain why there is such a strong correlation between stubborn or rule-breaking youngsters and high income in mid-life, but the authors postulate that such children might be more competitive in the classroom, leading to better grades. They might be more demanding as adults; when locked in salary negotiations, they may be the ones who demand more. They may be more willing to fight for their own financial interests, even at the risk of annoying friends and colleagues.
See? Determination is
good (I say to myself when locked in a why-you-need-to-wear-pants-in-the-winter battle with my two-year-old...)
2. Stubborn children are more independent
Being independent often grows from stubbornness and wanting to do thing on their own. This idea that they can do it and always find a way will hopefully also lead to having a strong sense of self-worth.
3. Stubborn children are natural-born leaders
Being stubborn often means they will find themselves in charge of others, and while you might be tempted to call them bossy – don't be so quick to do just that. Children who have a strong will are often very good at trusting their own instinct, and will not easily be intimidated.
Therapists say it’s true that strong willed kids are more willing to do what’s right, rather than what their friends are doing. If parents can motivate them and turn their drive to doing well at school or a real purpose, these kids can make motivated leaders who will do the right thing even if they have to do it solo.
4. Stubborn children are opinionated
Children who are viewed as stubborn will often have a strong opinion, and will not shy away from letting you hear it. This might lead to come uncomfortable comments when they are young, but as they get older, their filters become more effective and they will (hopefully) use their strong opinions to draw attention to other points of view and begin to pick their battles better.
Are YOU raising stubborn children? How do YOU manage to nurture their strong will and still manage to get them to do what YOU need or want them to do? Send me an e-mail and let me know at Trine.Jensen@Herfamily.ie
