It doesn’t really matter if it’s a 5K in the park or the New York City Marathon; a promotion at work or the launch of a business empire – setting goals is good for us.
Positive psychology tells us that having a goal fuels optimism and hope. Reaching a goal – which brings knock-on benefits for self-confidence and further success – requires a smart approach. Here are some dos and don’ts:
DO:
Own your goal. You dreams are your own responsibility. Hauling yourself out of bed for a 5.30am gym session is a lot easier when you remind yourself why you’re doing it and remember that nobody’s forcing you – it’s your choice.
Cut the criticism. Sometimes, there can be enough negativity in everyday life without a little voice in your own head telling you that you can’t do something. You can’t control what others say, but you can keep your internal conversation positive and supportive. For everyone who suggests (however ‘nicely’) that you can’t do something, remind yourself that you can.
Remember past successes. When things get tough, think of all of the hurdles you’ve already overcome to get to where you are today.
Learn to laugh. If you can’t see beyond your goal, you’re in danger of turning into a po-faced bore – not a good look. Stay focused, but aim to keep a sense of humour. Things won’t always go your way and laughing at minor setbacks is a great way to dust yourself off and regroup.
Switch tack: Sometimes, despite our most ingenious scheming and strenuous efforts, something big will get in the way, and often that’s outside of our control entirely. When the writing’s on the wall, ask yourself honestly if you need to change your approach, scrap your goal or just shelve it for the moment. If there’s no way around a particular obstacle, redirect your energy.
Enjoy the process. Reaching worthwhile goals takes time. Don’t put your life on hold. Treasure the people and experiences you encounter on the path to reaching your goal.
DON’T:
Be surprised by obstacles. Setbacks, challenges and downright annoyances are a normal part of life. They may not be convenient when you’re striving for success, but obstacles are there to remind us that life isn’t perfect and neither are we. Hurdles are there to be gotten over and problems to be solved. Accepting that fact means we’re less likely to freak out over small challenges.
Burn yourself out. None of us can perform to our full potential 24/7. Accept that there will be days when we need to show ourselves a bit of TLC and ease up on our efforts.
Forget to review your progress. Check in regularly to see where you are in relation to your goal. That helps you to adjust your effort. Maybe you need to get up 15 minutes earlier, or perhaps you’ve earned a night in front of the telly. Taking stock also helps to keep a sense of realism and to distinguish between the pesky obstacles and those that might turn out to be deal breakers.
Give in to self-pity. Sometimes, when it looks like things aren’t going your way, those close to you will actually organise the pity party. Turn down the invitation. Stay in and wash your hair. Thank your nearest and dearest for their support and encourage them to provide you with positive help and solutions, but don’t succumb to pity – your own or theirs.
Stop believing. The difference between success and failure is often giving something one more try. Believe in your ability to solve problems and find solutions and you’ll stay confident in your power to bring about positive change. If one particular goal wasn’t meant to be, there are always lots of other options.
