Much as this might not sound all that romantic; there is actually a lot of science to back up why some things work and others don’t when it comes to love and relationships.
Curious as to why some couples manage to go the distance while others don’t? Here are some scientific explanations to the proven habits that set strong relationships apart.
Intrigued? Here’s what happy couples do that keeps their love strong:
1. They share chores
According to a Pew Research Center report, couples who do the dishes together stay together. Household chores and how we divide them matter a lot, in fact. So much so that below faithfulness and sex, participants in the study said sharing household chores is a crucial aspect of a successful marriage.
Oh, and get this: One study found that when men chip in at home, couples have better and more frequent sex.
Well, if that isn’t reason enough to pick up the hoover, boys, I don’t know what is.
2. They value intimacy
Many couples, especially those of us in the throws of parenthood, spend a lot of time perpetually worrying about whether or not we are having enough sex (come on, who isn’t worried about this?!) Luckily, a new study by the University of Toronto puts our intrigue to rest.
In fact, according to experts, the ideal time between the sheets is once a week. “For the average person, having sex more frequently than once a week was not associated with greater happiness,” said researcher Amy Muise.
The relief!
The key here, according to the experts, is that there are many ways to be intimate, and that sex isn’t always the end goal. Hugging, kissing, snuggling up on the sofa for a Netflix marathon, all these are also great and important ways to be close to our partner.
3. They honor Date Night
OK, so it is a scientific fact that romance declines over the years (I know, depressing, isn’t it?!), but that doesn’t mean it isn’t important to keep the spark going in a marriage.
How you may ask? Well, according to studies, happy couples keep things fresh by switching up their routines. New experiences activate the brain’s reward system and therefore mimic the feeling of early romantic love (cue butterflies).
If you always go to the same local for drinks every time you rope in a babysitter, try something new instead, advises the experts. What things did you like getting up to when you were first going out? Sex is an obvious answer, but how about the other things? Did you like to take walks? Go for drives? Go to museums and gallery openings? Remind yourself about how things used to be, and it is bound to get you thinking about each other in a really romantic way again.
4. They enjoy spending time along
Another key to a strong relationship is spending time without your partner. Or, at least that’s what a study by the University of Michigan suggests. Here, Terri Orbuch, a psychologist and research professor, has been following the lives of 373 married couples over the past 25 years, and found that one element defines unhappy relationships: a lack of personal space.
In fact, almost a third of participants said they wish they had more alone time, and women were found to crave space more than men. Making time for your friends, your hobbies, your other family, those things are important to feel complete as a person, and will, in turn, give you more happiness and a better relationship at home.
5. They have many small fights
It is an easy mistake to associate conflict with an unhappy relationship, but actually, research has proven that the opposite is in fact known to be true.
In fact, this study discovered that people who have smaller fights on a regular basis tend to avoid big arguments in the long run. Also, a whopping forty-four percent of married couples even claimed that fighting helps communication.
Avoiding conflict is known to be a real killer for a relationship, and a fair fight (if you do it in a way that doesn’t hurt or harm your other half) can actually contribute to putting a spark back in your relationship.
How do YOU try to keep the spark in your relationship or marriage? Let us know in the comments or tweet us at @Herfamilydotie
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