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6th October 2022
04:10pm BST
Your foundation should always match your neck
I don't know what it was but there was a time when girls seemed to think their head should look divorced from their body.
Let me tell you, it was not a good look and I was a culprit. I didn't do it on purpose, I just happened to buy foundation that was the wrong shade for my skin tone. Nevertheless, even once I noticed this I continued to use it because I couldn't afford another 'Dream Matte Mousse'.
If this ever happens to you, tell me and I will buy you another foundation. Don't go walking around like an eejit like I did.
Beware magazine makeup
I was obsessed with eyeliner. As a teen in the age of emo, there was no hotter beauty product. During this time I got most of my make up free with girls' magazines. We're talking top quality stuff.
In one of these publications I received a liquid eyeliner and eyeshadow with absolutely no brand name on it, alarm bells should have gone off. I tried it. The eyeliner was extremely runny and ran right into my eye, turning the entire eyeball black. On top of that, the eyeshadow made my eyelid break out in a rash. Not the best outcome.
I have stepped up my make up game and I'd say you'll be safe from making the mistake of using no brand name makeup, as you'll probably just end up stealing most of my stuff.
Your lips are your friends
That should go without saying but not in the noughties. No, in the early 2000s, we made a decision that lips should be banished. Those were the days of concealer lips. Yes, that's right, lips entirely covered in concealer so they blended into your face.
It seems to have gone to the opposite end of the spectrum with lip plumpers and fillers. If this lip fad tries to make a nostalgic comeback though, avoid at all costs. You are going to be a teenager of the digital age, there'll be no getting rid of those photographs.
Don't bleach your own hair, trust me it will turn bright yellow
Oh, I have far too many hair dye horror stories. Your auntie has avoided colouring her hair for the best part of her life after seeing my hair disasters.
When I was fourteen, I decided my sandy blonde hair just wasn't blonde enough. Instead of just opting for a box dye, I went straight for the bleach. I put it in by myself while I was watching Drake and Josh.
I had to open every single window and door to air out the horrendous smell and my head felt like I'd lit it on fire.
After waiting for the time stated on the box, I took off the towel to find my hair was not platinum but bright yellow. Major panice ensued. I rang my older cousins to try and figure out how I was going to tell my mother why I looked like Cyndi Lauper.
Don't worry if this happens to you, all you have to do is panic call me. I'm not only well versed in the use of toner but your godmother is also a professional hairdresser.
Let's talk about blending...
I spent most of my teens and early twenties going around with two massive coloured blobs where my eyes should have been.
At the time I thought I was the bomb dot com but the photographic evidence would say otherwise. Now I don't know how much I can advise you on this, as I'm only alright at the whole eye makeup situation myself. Luckily for you, YouTube tutorials are aplenty. We didn't have those back in my day.
Mostly though I would just say have fun. Wear the glitter hair mascara, try blue lipstick, wear crazy eyelashes. You do you. Being a teenager shouldn't be all serious smoky eyes, you've plenty of time for that.Explore more on these topics:
