She's getting vulnerable.
**Content warning: This article contains references to self-harming.
Gemma Collins has revealed she was at one point put off having children for fear of being an unfit mother due to her mental health struggles.
The reality star, who has
long been open about her desire to become a mum one day, first lifted the lid on her struggles with mental health in a surprising interview last year.
On Piers Morgan's Life Stories, the 41-year-old bravely made the revelation that she has a history of self-harming, which will be further explored in the Channel 4 documentary
Gemma Collins: Self-Harm & Me later this month.
Gearing up for the documentary's release, Gemma told New! magazine that her history made her scared she wasn't fit to be a mum.
"I can provide financial stability and a lot of love, but what if it came back?" she said in reference to self-harming.
She added that she is "desperate" to have a baby with her fiancé, Rami Hawash, and that professionals helping her through her mental health struggles ultimately gave her “the green light” to do so.
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The TOWIE star said she knows Rami is her "life partner" and feels as though he is the person for her to start a family with.
She already considers herself stepmum to his young son from a prior relationship, having previously described him as her "little prince" in an Instagram snap.
"No feeling like it. My little prince. Being a step mummy is so rewarding love is free and so rewarding nothing can put a price on this," she captioned the post in November.
"Auntie stepmum and hopefully god will give me a gift one day but I am so happy with what I have right now," she added. "#sharingthelove and a HUGE THANK YOU to his lovely mummy for letting me look after him."
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Gemma also told the publication she gave up 'the GC' persona for the documentary to be more vulnerable and honest. Though filming was "scary, highly uncomfortable and very daunting" she thinks it's "the best TV" she's ever made.
The documentary will air on Channel 4 on February 16 at 9pm.
If you have been affected by the issues raised in this article or just need to talk to someone, you can reach the Samaritans on 116 123 at any time.
