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22nd Aug 2018

Friend of mum asks people to pay for her baby shower… and there’s outrage

Olivia Hayes

Would you be annoyed?

A parent has taken to Mumsnet after her mother attended a baby shower – which she had to pay for herself.

The poster said that her mum was asked to bring a gift – but it couldn’t be wrapped, and then at the end of the afternoon all attendees were asked to line up and pay for their afternoon tea.

The user wrote:

“My DM attended a baby shower of her old neighbour (they’ve since moved away but keep in touch). Afternoon tea in a private room, nice riverside cafe.

“DM’s present (hamper of baby goodies) was in excess of 70 pounds as where most of the other presents on table. Mum-to-be had specifically asked presents not to be wrapped. We thought it was so everyone to see all the lovely things, but mum-to-be announced it was because ‘she couldn’t be bothered to stand opening them’!

“End of the afternoon she asked everyone to queue up and pay the 25 pounds for the afternoon tea. WTAF?? I was horrified when mum told me, but AIBU?”

Many mums responded to the post saying that they don’t really agree with baby showers in the first place.

One said:

“Wrapping paper is a bit wasteful but if that was her concern (or even if it wasn’t her real one!) she could have been nicer and said ‘Please do leave any presents unwrapped to avoid waste’. ‘I couldn’t be bothered to stand opening them’ is extremely ungracious to say the least.

“If you had to pay for your own tea fair enough, but it should certainly be on the invitation. She’s grabby and very vulgar.”

While another said:

“YANBU. Serious CF. No way should invited guests have had to pay for their own afternoon tea at a baby shower. It’s not like a group of mates getting together to go out and splitting the bill. Your mum was badly treated.
And how lazy and bossy re ‘not wanting to stand to open gifts’. Not sure how this lady is going to take to having a newborn baby.”