After a seriously rocky start to breastfeeding the first time around, I am giving a lot more thought to preparing to nurse this time around.
Of course giving ANY thought at all would already be more preparation than I invested last time. As a first timer, I just assumed that the baby would come out, and I would just feed it out my milk bags. Job done. I guess this might be the case for some people, but it was SO not the case for me.
Visit after visit to lactation consultants, fennel tea followed by oats followed by no acidic fruit, endless frantic Googling, pouring over vague instructions for latching: After eight weeks I was demented trying to feed the baby who seemed to be about as cooperative as a particularly skittish feral cat.
10 Things I’m Going To Do Differently With Breastfeeding The Second Time Around:
1. Manage expectations
Some babies feed really quickly, one of my friends took her baby to the hospital because she was worried that she was feeding too fast and not getting enough. My baby took his time over his meals, which I used to fixate over endlessly.
Time and routines and schedules really don’t come into it in the early days so I will be trying to remember this when I latch the baby on for what seems like the 340th feed in two days.
2. Talk to a lactation consultant in advance of the birth
Even if it’s just to have a recap on the kinds of things that came up last time. Chatting with the lactation consultant got me back into the mammary mindset and reminded me of a few things that I’d like to do differently now that I’ve nursed one baby.
3. Connect with the local breastfeeding support group
My first baby was born at Christmas, and I was really anxious bringing him home to my house with no support readily available should anything go wrong – I don’t quite know what I was afraid would happen but I felt a bit unmoored. From my searching online, the support groups seemed to be on hiatus until January. “But my nipples are wrecked now,” I whined. Connecting with the local lactators during pregnancy means you can put names to the friendly faces of mums who will be at the end of the phone should you need encouraging words or practical advice.
4. Have the kit ready
I’m not sure everyone has a breastfeeding kit as such but after my first few weeks in the mammary saddle I had honed in on certain key items. I made sure to always have a stock of lanolin, breast pads, chilled cabbage leaves, bottle of water (with sports top) and one-handed snacks on hand in what I called the Breast Nest (a collection of pillows and blankets where I took up residence for many months).
5. Make lactation cookies
I’d never heard of these last time, but I’ll deffo be trying them out this time as I always felt my milk supply was a bit of an issue.
6. I’m going to address all the thank you cards in advance
This list is definitely veering into the slightly mental at this point, but this is my level of commitment. What I’m mainly saying with this point is that I won’t be attempting to do ANYTHING bar nurse the baby in the first couple of months. Last time around I was like a deranged Emily Post devotee writing thank you notes one-handed to my mother’s friends while the baby was suctioned to my tit. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
7. I’m going to try to keep some perspective on the situation
If things aren’t going well, I will be aiming to not beat myself up about it. In the end with my first baby, I had his tongue tie corrected when he was 8 weeks and I combination fed for most of the time, and it was perfectly fine. It would have, in fact, been very nice if I had calmed down long enough to stop “blaming” myself for “failing” at breastfeeding! As The (slightly baffled) Man said at the time: “You’re kind of making this all about you instead of the baby.”
8. I’ll be preparing the baby’s room with a view to me sleeping there
I didn’t plan on co-sleeping when I was pregnant so when it evolved naturally, this meant I was sleeping in a tiny, cramped, uncomfortable bed for months on end. With hindsight, I should’ve kicked The Man out of our bed and taken up residence in there with the baby. This time, I’m making sure the nursery is as much a refuge for me as it is for the baby.
9. I will be discussing my preference for skin-to-skin with my obstetrician prior to the birth
With my first child I was very hands-off with regards the birth but this time, I will try as much as possible to have input and will be seeking (within reason) to not be separated from my baby in the first hours after the birth.
10. I will enjoy it
I really enjoyed nursing my son. It took a while for us to get there but by the end I loved it, and this time around, I am going to be sure to soak it up.
How did you find nursing the second time around? We’d love to hear your advice in the comments…
