Let’s tell the truth about smacking children – it hurts. Smacking or ‘corporal punishment’ translated into plain English is the act of a big person inflicting physical pain on the body of a child. No matter how much you want to deny that simple reality it comes down to that, physical pain deliberately inflicted on a child’s body. It isn’t nice to think of it that way is it?
I started this article in a deliberately provocative way, and I probably got your attention. You may already be riled up and thinking that I am an extremist of some sort or an advocate of laissez-faire parenting. You can be sure I am far from that. I know that all children need limits and boundaries, need to be taught the proper behaviour and require discipline that teaches them how to behave. That brings us to one of the big problems with smacking – it doesn’t teach anything. It stops a behaviour temporarily but does not show the child how to use a more proper behaviour. There has been a lot of research literature about smacking, and it’s helpful to review some of the findings:
1. Parents who rely on smacking tend to dramatically reduce the amount of more proper methods of correcting children’s behaviour. It reduces the amount of time being spent with children which is humane, kind, supportive and reduces parental creativity in dealing with their children.
2. We know for a fact that more socially acceptable methods, such as logical and natural consequences, are more effective in directing children’s behaviour. Children disciplined along these lines have been shown to grow to be more moral and competent in adulthood. Smacking reduces the likelihood of this outcome.
3. When smacking is used to reduce the amount of undesirable behaviours in children, the child who is smacked is highly likely to come to believe they are undesirable children. This impression lowers self-esteem and can have lifetime consequences.
4. There is no doubt now, based on massive research, that children learn by watching what adults do. They imitate the behaviour of adults, especially those closest to them and incorporate that behaviour into their life skills. That is why the child who is smacked grows so often to be an adult who smacks children. You hear it every day, “I got smacked, and it didn’t do me any harm.” Children who grow up with this knowledge will rely on physical punishment rather than logic, persuasion and the intelligent use of behavioural methods.
5. There is a growing body of research that effective methods of discipline in schools and other institutions requires controlling a huge number of variables including the environment itself. Without exploring all these variables, smacking will never be useful and will only create resentment, rage, hostility and a sense of powerlessness that will never reduce incidents of misbehaviour.
I could go on, but I think you get the point. Smacking is useless and harmful. There is no doubt about it, and advocates of smacking are hard-pressed to find any evidence to support its use.
David Carey has over 25 years experience in both clinical and educational settings. The author of several books, he’s also a regular contributor to the Moncrieff show on Newstalk 106-108FM and on TV3.