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Family dynamics

03rd May 2018

Mums anger about men never changing the toilet roll is too real

Jade Hayden

Yeah, same.

You know the feeling.

You’re sitting on the toilet. You’ve just done your business. You reach over for some toilet roll to clean yourself and… there’s none.

Genuinely nothing more upsetting, anger inducing, and just plain wrong in this world.

There are a couple of reasons as to why things like this can happen.

The first is that somebody used the last of the toilet paper and then suffered a severe emergency where they had to leave the house immediately and were therefore unable to replace the toilet roll.

And the second is that a man was in there before you.

Probably the second option, to be honest.

That’s what mum blogger Laura Mazza thinks anyway, so she decided to pretend to do a bit of a (fake) news report on the epidemic that has been sweeping the nation – men not replacing the toilet roll.

She wrote:

“ATTENTION!!!!: I interrupt your news feed to give you a special public service announcement!!

“This is serious and needs to be addressed. This is a 1 like, 1 prayer type scenario and WOMEN I need you to listen up.

“EVERYDAY 3 in 3 men are suffering from this condition. Thousands upon hundreds of thousands of men are struggling with the complaints and shame that their partners are giving to them due to toilet paper rolls being left in the bathroom. It’s causing them stress, baldness, twitchy eye syndrome and snoring at nightitis.”

Sounds about right, yeah.

Laura goes on:

“Women all over the globe are assuming men can change the toilet paper roll and getting upset when they don’t or just can’t physically do it – IT IS JUST NOT RIGHT.

“Men are leaving rolls on floors, on top of fresh paper or leaving one measly square on top of the role – all of them unaware of how to physically change a roll and as a result being excluded from their partners affection and suffering.”

Suffering, indeed.

Laura then goes on to talk to some of the men who are guilty of this act.

Here’s what they had to say.

“I physically strained my ass muscles while taking a shit, so I couldn’t even lift my arm to change the roll. She didn’t speak to me for weeks.. my ass and my heart is strained” – Ben (42, iPhone user on toilet)

“I only use square by square and I assumed she did too… she told me one square isn’t sufficient, now I’m a broken man who feels he isn’t sufficient” (Robert, 25, doesn’t courtesy flush).”

Laura then called on other mums to share their own horrific photos of their lack of toilet roll in the bathroom.

She also said that “their laziness will never stop our love” though and, you know, we don’t know if we’d quite be able to agree with that.