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Family dynamics

14th May 2022

“Should I give my 18-year-old a deadline to move out?”

Laura Cunningham

“I don’t want to put my happiness and financial well-being on hold indefinitely”

Kids rarely move out as young as 18, these days but in this particular family, things are changing and everyone is happy to go their own way.

However, it’s not happening any time soon which is causing some issues, as this mother explained to Mumsnet forum readers.

“I’ve been a single mum for 10 years and me and my daughter are incredibly close, but my partner and I want to move in together so things are going to have to change.”

She gave her daughter the option of moving in with her and her new partner, but she’s happy to go off and do her own thing… eventually: “His place is big enough for her to have her own room if she wants to come with me, but she’s already said she wants to live on her own / with friends.”

The issue now, is that the mum is at the mercy of her daughter while she waits for her to make this huge life change: “She’s on quite a low wage though and I’m worried about how long it might take for her to find somewhere and don’t want to put my happiness and financial well-being on hold indefinitely while she gets sorted.

“I’m thinking of giving her a 6-month deadline to find somewhere, or come and live with us (she gets on just fine with my partner). Would I be unreasonable to do this?”

What do you think? Having some sort of plan in place might help everyone get things in motion – but is it putting too much pressure on a teenager to set up home alone?

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