Babies are crafty little feckers. Mine never stops plotting and scheming to have me in a constant state of confusion.
One day he likes a certain food, the next he won’t touch it. One day a particular thing I do could be absolutely hilarious, the next day he looks at me like I’ve lost the plot. But his greatest trick would put the likes of Dynamo to shame – he is single-handedly turning me into my own mother before my very eyes.
Not that it’s a bad thing at all I should point out. Mammy Ryan is the best. But I hear myself saying things that were said to me when I was a kid – ‘You’ll bloody well eat it if you’re hungry!’ Rian has already learned which of his parents is the easiest to get around: Daddy. Crafty little munchkin figured out that he gets his own way much quicker with Daddy than with mean old (yet strikingly young looking) Mammy. To be fair, I figured out ages ago that Gavin tends to like the quiet life. If you persist, you’ll get your way.
Joking aside, it’s important to us both to help Rian learn that you don’t always get your own way. Life is often unfair. We’re supposed to teach him to be kind, thoughtful, patient -all the perfect qualities you’d love to have yourself. I often wonder – how much of a person is pre-programmed and how much of it is a result of your upbringing and surroundings? Take one family with four children as my parents had. We were all raised in the same house, same family… yet we are four very different people.
I recently came across this piece which I loved. It comes from – The Parent’s Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents by William Martin.
It’s my new mantra…
Make the Ordinary Come Alive
“Do not ask your children
to strive for extraordinary lives.
Such striving may seem admirable,
but it is the way of foolishness.
Help them instead to find the wonder
and the marvel of an ordinary life.
Show them the joy of tasting
tomatoes, apples and pears.
Show them how to cry
when pets and people die.
Show them the infinite pleasure
in the touch of a hand.
And make the ordinary come alive for them.
The extraordinary will take care of itself.”
Whenever I buy a new gadget I can’t start using it until I’ve read all the instructions. I’m that nerdy person who reads the manual, so you can imagine the frustration of trying to navigate how babies work.
In some ways I have some very firm ideas of how I want him to be – caring, thoughtful, and respectful. To know the difference as early as possible between right and wrong. Manners. But the main thing I want for him is to be happy. To appreciate things… and not just material things. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not expecting him to be the next Mother Teresa. I just want to teach him to make the right choices. To be grounded and to appreciate people and things and to treat everyone the same. To be kind.
Catch up with Jen Ryan (a 30-something, married mam of one little munchkin and two dogs) on her hilarious blog, thescenicroutebyjen.com.
