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06th Mar 2019

Mum baffled after mother-in-law insists on kissing ‘squirming’ children on lips

Keeley Ryan

“Myself and my other half don’t even kiss our kids in this way.”

A woman has turned to the internet for advice after her mother-in-law keeps kissing her two young children on the lips.

The mum explained that while she’s not “suggesting there’s anything dodgy with her doing this”, it made her feel uncomfortable – and her children “squirm”.

She wrote on NetMums:

“I’m maybe being a bit silly being slightly annoyed by this but I’ve noticed my mother in law keeps kissing my 1 and 2 yr old kids on the lips.

“I guess I notice it and it stands out to me because no one else I know does this and myself and my other half don’t even kiss our kids in this way.

“She wears lipstick as well. I mean I’m not suggesting there’s anything dodgy with her doing this but I’m not easy with it.

“My kids squirm as well. But ‘m not sure what I can do or say. We don’t have a close relationship and my partner also doesnt have an easy relationship with his parents.

“If either of us were to comment it would likely blow up into a massive thing. What does everyone think about this kind of thing, has anyone had anything similar?”

Many of the commenters said that they could understand why the mum would feel uncomfortable.

Someone commented:

“Yeah I remember my gran doing this to me when I was younger and I hated it.

“Neither my mum or mother-in-law feel impulsed to do the same with [my son] though.

“In your situation I would make a light hearted comment that I don’t think ds/dd really likes being kissed on the lips.”

Another person wrote:

“I wouldn’t like this at all! I don’t kiss my children on the lips so I don’t want anyone else doing it.”

Some other commenters felt that the mother-in-law wasn’t doing anything wrong.

One person wrote:

“We kiss on the lips, so I would have no issue with that. However my children have the choice – if they don’t want to kiss someone then that is their right and they are never forced to do it.

‘That would be my issue, if the kids don’t want to kiss and are clearly uncomfortable then they shouldn’t be kissing. They should feel that they can say no.”

A different person added:

“I don’t see an issue with it, but I kiss my 2 year old on the lips and so he’s quite happy to kiss grandparents on the lips.

“My mother in law wouldn’t do it, I get he impression she probably didn’t kiss her children. But my family see it as normal.”