Musings: Baby Born dolls — setting impossible standards for babies since 1991

I think most of us have heard about how fashion dolls like Barbie set impossible body standards for women.

Recently this has changed with Barbie dolls being reinvented into different shapes and sizes, but there's another dolly culprit that needs to be addressed — Baby Born. For decades now Baby Born has been setting impossible standards for babies and I for one would like a stop put to it. Recently, my daughter came home from a day out with my grandparents, during which she and her brother were both bought toys. She loves dragons, so I wasn't surprised to see she had brought home yet another purple dragon, but I was surprised by the brand. Baby Born? What? I'm sorry but what has a dragon got to do with Baby Born? What possible need would a new baby have for a dragon? So I went in search of answers and that's when I came upon this advert. What is this Game of Thrones nonsense? Who is she baby Daenerys Targaryen? It was while I was having a rant about this to the unfortunate people I happened to be in the room with at the time that it struck me; this isn't the first time Baby Born has been acting the maggot. Oh no, she's pulled this kind of stunt before. Exhibit A: Seriously? A horse? I can literally count on one hand the number of times I've seen a baby ride a horse on their own, unaccompanied, and that number is zero. Yes, its a toy but let's call a spade a spade; if Barbie is giving girls body issues because she's eight feet tall and they're not, then Baby Born needs a talking to too. She's making babies feel like they're not accomplished enough because they're not off riding dragons and horses and that's just not on. How many babies self-esteem has she already damaged? But the horse is not even the worst of it, check this out. You're having a laugh. A moped? Are you for real? That is such a health and safety hazard, not that the horse and dragon aren't, but really? There's no way she has her full drivers licence with how strict they are in Ireland. If she didn't pass her driving test, is she's just driving around on a provisional without a licence holder? If she is, she'll be in for a rude awakening now when a Garda hauls her off it for being unaccompanied. She's not only being dangerous by driving a vehicle before she can support her own head, but she's also setting a bad example for other babies by driving illegally. That's not the kind of role model that I want for my daughter. I'm at a loss as to what to say about how reckless this baby is being. Someone needs to have a word with her because she's setting herself up for a fall. If you're already bombing around on Vespas and taking over Westeros when you're a newborn, what is there left to do when you're older. I've heard of people peaking in college but I've never heard of anyone peaking in their first year of existence. Anyway, rant over. That is at least until my daughter brings home the Baby Born Formula One racing kit. Then I'll be back for round two.