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06th Feb 2020

Last night I crawled across my bedroom floor and performed ‘operation duvet’

Melissa Carton

Parents of toddlers will relate.

I spent most of last night sneaking around my bedroom trying to covertly get into bed.

This was all while my toddler kept jumping up from her crib like a pop-up book from hell yelling at me to let her out.

It’s an experience that most parents have had and I’m sure I’m not alone in having to perform strategic tactics like ‘Operation Duvet’.

My two-year-old isn’t too bad when it comes to sleeping routines but last night she decided 5 am was the perfect time to, as Kylie Jenner would say, rise and shine.

Her cot is beside my bed and if she knows I’m in bed, she will shout and cry and yell until I pick her up.

Last night, I knew if I did go over to her, she would assume we were ‘up-up’ and expect breakfast and the dreaded Peppa Pig. Not happening pal.

Instead I had to engage in stealth mode and remove myself from the equation, the best thing was to leave the room while I waited for her to go back to sleep.

Like most toddlers she’s an incredibly light sleeper so I had to be clever about how I got back into my bedroom and more importantly my bed without waking her.

In other words, it was time for Operation Duvet.

If you need a visual for what happened next, just imagine a 30-year-old woman gingerly crawling across her bedroom floor, trying not to set off any musical toys along the way.

After I had crossed the rough terrain, aka the floor, I now had to figure out how to get into the bed without her noticing.

She was lying down but I couldn’t be 100 per cent sure that her eyes were closed and she could still easily spot me jumping back under the covers.

If she did I would be back to square one all over again. I couldn’t let that happen.

As I made my approach, I very carefully and slowly tugged the cover off of the bed.

Completely camouflaged in the duvet, I scaled the bed and slid in unnoticed. To keep up the pretence that I was nothing more than a simple duvet, I kept the cover over my face until I could hear her snoring.

On this occasion the mission was a success but in saying that, I’m not going to congratulate myself just yet. There is still tonight to come…