Please tell me I'm not alone...
My daughter has always been an angelic sleeper… the type of child who decided at six weeks’ of age that she’d sleep through the night, because sure, why would you be you be waking up and only annoying your parents?
To this day – now aged almost five – she still snoozes soundly through the likes of my (occasional) rounds of hovering, all the lights being switched on, or the howls of her younger brother.
As my first baba, I probably didn’t know how lucky I was.
Himself is quite a different matter.
Now approaching that magic two-and-a-half year milestone, he still wakes-up once or twice (or let’s be honest - multiple times)
every single night.
To me, it’s standard to rarely get more than two or three hours in a row of decent sleep.
Nevertheless, having conducted in-depth, wholly scientific research* into the matter, I have concluded the following three points:
*Not remotely scientific
1) The cry it out method is bullsh**
My son is embattled by the prospect of being let ‘cry it out’. He laughs in the face of it… or rather he screams and cries and those screams only become louder and more ridiculous over time. Try and call his bluff he will beat you at your game every single time. Attempting to ignore him is only a reminder of how weak and powerless you really are as a parent.
2) My name is Gillian and I am an addict
I have an addiction. There can be no other explanation for the fact that I repeatedly do things on cycle that I know are bad for me and my wellbeing. And despite good intentions and promises of finally breaking bad habits, it never happens. Yup, I’m pretty sure as a parent I’m doing everything wrong when it comes to the likes of STILL getting my son up from his cot in the early hours, and STILL giving him an early morning bottle of formula (he’s two-and-a-half for goodness sake!), and STILL popping in to comfort him every time he stirs. Utter disaster.
3) A marine animal comparison
Getting him into my bed might appease matters – but for him rather than me. Imagine attempting to sleep beside a deranged octopus that is compelled to twitch, twist, and turn at regular intervals of 3-7 seconds. Think of this deranged, twitching octopus wanting to poke and prod you; to lie on top of you and then beside you and then far away from you, and then close again. Consider a deranged octopus who likes to sporadically touch your face for no reason at all. That’s what having a toddler sleep in your bed is like.
In short: my toddler boy still doesn't sleep very well... and I know it's pretty much my fault. Any other sleep-deranged HerFamily mums out there??
