The first time the baby sleeps all night should be a cause for celebration but in reality, it was pretty damn unnerving.
Or maybe I just worry more than most people. The Child was (and is) such an erratic sleeper that I had truly resigned myself to a lifetime of crazed nights pacing the floors and bed hopping. At one point, I even set about reframing the whole “bad sleeper” thing to focus on the positives.
And then one night he slept *whisper it* ALL. DAMN. NIGHT.
10 things that happened the first time the baby (no joke) slept all night:
1. I woke up really, REALLY confused
“What the…?” I sat bolt upright, initially unable to identify this unfamiliar feeling. Then it hit me, I felt… RESTED.
2. I dashed in to check that everything was okay
It was a terrifying 3-second journey to the baby’s room. There he was sleeping. UN-F*CKING-BELIEVABLE. I think I did a little dance on the spot and slipped out of his room.
3. Everything was okay, so I wondered what to do with this unanticipated break
Naturally I wasted it trying to decide between cleaning, sitting staring at a wall and eating a sandwich.
4. My boobs were going mental, and I began to fret
Should I wake him? Pump? Stare at the wall some more? This was a weird, weird day.
5. “When is he going to wake up?” I wondered
The not knowing was killing me, and I was also beginning to worry about the morning nap. Would there be some terrible knock-on effect? What is happening???
6. I was too stressed to enjoy it
Clearly I was ruining the first full night’s sleep in six months with angsting about fairly trivial stuff. I tried to talk myself down. “They said it would happen eventually,” I reasoned.
7. I texted my friend to impart the news
“He’s sleeping through the night!!!” the message brayed jubilantly.
8. She quickly gave me some perspective on the situation
“How many times?” she asked. “ONCE!” I replied. “Eh, oh-kaaay…. see how it goes,” she advised trying to keep my exuberance in check in anticipation of the almost inevitable return to non-sleeping. She was right by the way. See my 10 reasons why “good sleeper” shouldn’t be a thing for more info.
9. “What if this is just my life now?” I wondered. Solo showers, uninterrupted morning coffees and a chance to blow dry my hair before gently and lovingly waking my snoozy baby…
It wasn’t, see above.
10. “Will he ever sleep all night again?” I mused for weeks after the All Nighter (as we came to call the event that began to take on the significance of the Hale-Bopp comet or a unicorn sighting such was its rarity)
He does. Occasionally. Put it this way whenever a worried looking pregnant woman asks me if he “sleeps through” I can confidently say that it has happened.
