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28th Dec 2021

The lazy girl’s guide to making the house appear cleaner in under 30 minutes

In the interest of full disclosure this is not strictly a cleaning how-to.

It’s more suggestions for fitting cleaning into your day without hijacking other, funner plans.

The lazy girl’s guide to making the house appear cleaner in under 30 minutes is in accordance with a new approach to cleaning called preventative cleaning. Practising preventative cleaning is basically cleaning frequently.

Maybe, cleaning frequently doesn’t exactly sound like the lazy option but actually, when you think about it, it totally is. If you clean regularly then when you do clean, you don’t have to clean as intensely. And there is actually some really lazy tips in there too, such as light a candle – scientifically proven to increase the appearance of cleanliness by 2 per cent.

Disclaimer: Things will appear cleaner from far away.

1. Choose a soundtrack– I highly recommend Ram Jam. (1 minute)

2. Keep a toy box in every room and every few hours or whenever the inclination hits fling all the toys back in there. This has the effect of “resetting” the insanity levels of a room instantly. (3 minutes)


3. Hoover EVERY surface. I mean it every surface. I hoover the floors sure, but the hoover really comes into its own when used to hoover tables, counters, mirrors, the grill, the oven and ESPECIALLY the toaster. I’m not sure that I invented the “Poly-faceted” hoover – maybe everyone’s doing this – but I definitely invented this term. (5 minutes)


4. Open a window this will let in fresh air and Bette Middle if you’re lucky. (2 minutes)


5. Light a candle in the hall. Not a sinister one though, a scented one. (2 minutes)


6. Do the dishes and (CRUCIALLY) put them away. This gives a way cleaner impression than just allowing them to languish on the drying rack. (5 minutes)


7. Empty all the bins – it is like a mind detox. (5 minutes)


8. Wipe the sink dry – this really improves the look of the kitchen… and there’s probably some hygiene benefits yadayaydayada… (2 minutes)


9. Clean the bathroom


10. Enjoy your handy work and vow to keep the house this clean forever more. (You will make this vow perhaps daily for the rest of your life. It won’t happen. If it did, you wouldn’t be on the Lazy Girl’s Guide to Making the House Appear Cleaner in Under 30 Minutes list would you? You’d be on this list probably, honing the cleaning skills you already possess.)

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