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Musings

05th Sep 2021

Musings: When nightclubs reopen, better make way because the mammies are coming

Melissa Carton

If anyone needs a night out, it’s the mammies.

Even though the pubs are back open, because of restrictions they still have to close much earlier than they usually would.

Come October 22nd though, that’s all going to change and I’m just warning you now, you better make way, because the mammies are coming to storm the nightclubs.

Between home schooling and just generally being locked in the house with the kids for months on end, us mammies are well deserving of a big night out.

We are getting our Apple Bottom Jeans, our boots with the fur and I don’t care if I’m in my thirties, I will absolutely walk up to the bar and confidently order a Blue WKD.

We will be requesting ‘Yeah’ by Usher and ‘I’ve Gotta Feeling’ by the Black Eyed Peas and busting our best two-step moves on the dancefloor.

Julia Stiles in Save The Last Dance who?

 

Shoes will be lost, tears will be shed, many strangers will be complimented in the toilets of wherever we are.

There’ll be no talk of Covid or the pandemic at all, just Deep Meaningful Conversations AKA the DMCs about that fella we all fancied the arse off when we were 16.

Who knows? We might go all out and get a cheeky 3-in-1 on the way home (that’s if we can ever locate our shoes).

I know the college age demographic are only buzzing to get into a nightclub, I just hope they’re prepared to dance to WAP with a load of mammies.

While we’ve all been locked up, I know for a fact my childless friends have not had to watch a single episode of Peppa Pig, so believe me when I say that when those nightclubs open back up, the babysitter is getting hit up and the mammies are hitting the town!