So some of these may seem a little outrageous, but I swear on Wine that they have all been uttered at one point or another.
In general, I think the people saying these things are probably just making a bit of polite chit chat. However with my sleep-deprived, sensitive mum-brain I can’t help but respond a little defensively. I try to keep the responses to myself for the most part. Though, while I just about manage to keep the mouth part of my face from reacting , sometimes you can see it in my eyes….
Having grown up with a mother who worked outside the home, the working mum thing never seemed like an issue to me. I don’t remember forming much of an opinion on the women who worked outside the home versus those who didn’t until I became a mother myself and, so far, have dabbled in a bit of both.
Now I realise that whichever route you go, you’re gonna hear about it from kindly strangers and other random people who have little bearing on your life. And even more annoying, The Man has never heard a single one of these questions. So get ready for some mild irritation…
10 most dangerous things to say to a working mother:
1. “Do you not miss the babies?”
Eh, YES! Please stop reminding me.
2. “It must be lovely to get a break.”
What kind of job is considered a break???
3. “Who’s minding the child???”
This one always (intentionally or not) comes out sounding quite alarmed, like I’ve forgotten to arrange for a childminder. “Calm down,” I say, “I left him in the car with Peppa on the iPad and the window cracked.”
4. “Isn’t childcare robbery?”
Well… it is and it isn’t. It’s kind of the most important thing you can ask a person to mind for you; isn’t it. You’d want to be paying top whack for a service like that. What would be better would be if some of the six figure ministerial pensions were divvied up to subsidise childcare.
5. “Do you ever worry that you’re missing their childhood?”
Luckily Childhood does not only take place between the hours of 9am and 5pm, so no, it’s grand. I’m there for the night shifts (mostly).
6. “Don’t you feel guilty?”
Yes, but I suspect that this is a symptom of parenthood as a whole. According to our pesky inner monologue we’re never doing enough, are we?
7. “I just read a study that said the children of working mothers are more likely to be…”
STOP. Just stop right there. Whatever little nugget of wisdom this study has come up with, I don’t want to hear it. No mother does. Believe me.
8. “What about when you have another one?”
This is a presumptuous enough question that all mothers have to field eventually (usually about 8 seconds after you’ve squeezed out the first one). When directed at the working mother it seems to imply that there’s a known formula of how many kids one can have and still work outside the home, whenever I feel doubt on this topic creeping in I just repeat this mantra: Miriam O’Callaghan, Miriam O’Callaghan, Miriam O’….
9. “You must hate stay-at-home mums complaining.”
My god NO! I defend the rights of all mothers to have a good old medicinal whinge. Essential for preserving sanity.
10. “I miss you.”
Oh no, this is the worst – when The Man starts developing abandonment issues because I spend all my time working and caring for our baby instead of cooking his dinner and cleaning his house.
Main image via YouTube
