10 tweets which prove life as a toddler parent is totally unglamorous
Remember the cool, glamorous, clean person you were before you had kids?
Yeah, that person is gone.
Here are ten signs you've sacrificed all glamour for life as a toddler parent, as told by Twitter.
1.You don't have the time/ energy/ will to care about your appearance.
— Ashley Bruman (@a_bru13) July 2, 2016
2. To the point where you barely notice what you look like.
— Writer Mom Life (@WriterMomLife) June 16, 2018
3. Your car, once your pride and joy, will never be the same.
I used to make fun of my sister to her face about having so much crap in her car (McDonald’s happy meals, snacks and water bottles) now I understand #Toddlermom
— Linda Aliven (@itszlinda_) June 16, 2018
4. Neither will your home
Hands up if your toddler has done these this evening:
1) weed on a lovely fabric stool
2) unrolled the kitchen roll all round the living room
3) tied up the kitchen table with said kitchen roll
4) smacked your head with the fridge door
5) spilled orange on the carpet
— Tom (@StrayFMTom) June 20, 2018
5. Or your wardrobe
Nothing like noticing the ketchup stain on my sweater arm HOURS and a meeting after the toddler puts it there... #fb
— Anne Slaughter (@aslaughter) December 18, 2012
6. Or your once-sacred makeup bag
If you must be careless enough to leave lipstick within reach of your toddler, I recommend a dark red, so that when you see the disaster she’s created you experience relief that it’s just lipstick and not what it looks like, which is A BLOODBATH
— MMR (@mirielmargaret) April 23, 2018
7. There are disgusting bodily substances everywhere.
My 3yo is sweet.
Climbs in my bed, snuggles up close, then tells me he is trying to get the little snot out of his nose.#toddlermom
— TheCrazySahm (@TheCrazySAHM) October 11, 2017
8. Like, really disgusting.
Playing *that* game with a toddler...'Is it poo or is it chocolate'?
— Becky (@Knittedteacosy) June 20, 2018
9. Plus other sticky surfaces all over the house.
WHY IS EVERYTHING ALWAYS SO STICKY????
*Toddler runs past with spoonful of peanut butter*
— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@PedersenAhmed) June 12, 2018
10. And on your person.
I went to the salon today!
— Healthy Living for Hot Messes (@HLFHM) January 29, 2018
But somehow, they manage to pull it off.
The crusty noses of sniffly toddlers: somehow both disgusting and cute.
— Matt Barrios (@mt_barrios) February 12, 2014