20 things you WILL (almost definitely) Google when you become a mother 4 years ago

20 things you WILL (almost definitely) Google when you become a mother

So everyone says DON'T Google stuff.

When you become a parent, Google becomes the enemy which makes sense. Google for a hysterical hypochondriac like me is like a red rag to a bull. I'm a bit of a catastrophist. If the ailment is not easily identifiable I will immediately take it to the bad place, like worrying that a tickle in the throat might be consumption until The Man tells me that consumption has pretty much been outmoded in Ireland at this stage.

When the Child came along I inevitably became even more trigger happy when it came to Googling life's unfathomable questions. Who else am I going to ask how to raise my child? My mother? This is the woman who raised me after all and look how I turned out. I would hope that my son grows up to be just a shade less neurotic than me so instead I sought the advice of Google on virtually everything from poo texture to philosophical dilemmas.

Some of the things on the list are a touch irrational but I can't tell you how vindicated I feel when the text box prompts my search. When I googled "I think my toddler hates me" I only had to type as far as the 'h' in hates before google offered the correct search. I take this to mean that this is a widely Googled phrase and that I am not alone in this fear. So Google can make you feel better sometimes. It can also give you an unfounded terror of everything from nappy rash (do NOT image search 'extreme nappy rash') to going outside.

20 things you almost definitely WILL Google when you become a mother (if you're anything like me at least)

1. Should you wake a newborn baby to feed it.

2. Been a mother for three days and can't stop crying.

3. 2-week old baby won't stop crying.

4. 3-week-old hasn't pooed for eight days.

5. I don't think there's any milk in my breasts.

6. How do you know if they are getting enough?

7. What colour is normal for 3-month-old poo.

8. Can you eat pineapple (or chilli or dairy or whatever random item the latest person told you to avoid) and breastfeed?

9. When will 5-month-old sleep through the night?

10. What is colic?

11. When does colic go?

12. My baby prefers my husband to me.

13. My baby prefers one breast over the other.

14. How do you know if you have postnatal depression?

15. When will 10-month-old sleep through the night?

16. How much wine before pump and dump?

17. White noise for babies free download.

18. When will 15-month-old sleep through the night?

19. I think my toddler son hates me.

20. What exactly counts as sleeping through the night?