We are in the process of building a fort around our house.
The combination of a very yappy West Highland Terrier plus two small kids in the house has become all too much for us.
Nap time and bed time efforts – some of which can take up to three hours to get under control – have been destroyed by that one public enemy of all parents: the unexpected caller.
These bizarre specimens seem content to hide in their cars or bushes for the majority of the day but spring to action the moment they sense us gingerly sliding away from a sleeping child.
It’s their moment to bang the door down, ring the bell, shout loudly in the hallway about their latest ‘offer’ that will save us hundreds on our electricity bills.
To these people, I say; fuck you.
In the first instance, you have absolutely no business rocking up to anyone’s door who have not expressly invited you to be there.
You have no business asking a complete stranger to hand over cash or their bank details to you, which involves an exchange of tiresome paperwork in their driveway.
And you sure as SHIT have no business calling to a family home in a young housing estate at dinner and bedtime.
I mean, are you trying to get yourself killed?
We have removed our letterbox and doorbell from our house and still they come, so next step is the electronic gates (and if pushed, cattle prod) to thwart anyone from messing with my opportunity to get my kids to sleep so that I can have a little break for myself (AKA open a bottle of wine).
Parenting site and Facebook page Pregnant Chicken clearly feels the same way and has designed these fantastic free printables for every new mum to pin to their front door;
And my personal favourite (ref: our dog):
Perfect or what?!
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