It can be incredibly awkward in the moment.
But one mum is being praised after she revealed the reason why she doesn’t make her children hug their relatives – and it’s all down to a very important reason.
Laura Mazza, who runs the blog Mum on the Run, recalled how some relatives had recently come to visit and, when one of them asked for a goodbye hug, her son simply said ‘no’.
The person tried to persist, telling the boy: “ohhh come on!! Just one big hug,” before turning to Mazza and I was looked at by the relative like I should encourage him by saying “go on give her a hug!”
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She continued:
“But instead I said ‘that’s okay you don’t have to’…And what may have been considered as slightly awkward or rude on my part, it’s something I’m proud as a parent to say or do.
“My responsibility first and foremost is to my children. As their mother it’s my job to stand up for them when they can’t and teach them to learn to stand up for themselves.
“I am their safe place, one that they trust and I won’t abuse that by insisting that they do something that makes them feel uncomfortable to be polite.”
She went on to explain how her son can get “too much” at times, and wants to “hug other kids, or his sister, a little too much.”
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Mazza added:
“I can’t tell him ‘You can’t hug her/him if they don’t want to be hugged, but if uncle Albert demands a hug, you should give him one’.
“Because I’m teaching my kids that no means no and that’s it’s okay to say no. It means no when I say ‘you can’t have an extra cookie’, it means no when your sister doesn’t want to wrestle.
“It means ‘no’ when your girlfriend/boyfriend says ‘no’ to sex or if you or they say, ‘I’m not ready’
“It means no when you say you don’t want to do something with your body that you don’t want to do. So it definitely means no when someone asks you for a hug and you don’t want to give them one.
“The message is that you can still be polite, nice and a good person and still say no.”
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The mum-of-three went on to explain how she knew “all too well” what it was like to be obliged to do something and be as polite as you were taught as a child – and ho she wanted to be an advocate for her children.
She ended the post by saying:
“But for now I’m their voice and I’m their advocate and I’ll make it count and hopefully that’ll give them the strength in all situations to remember my words and to know that they don’t have to do anything they don’t want to with their body and that, no means no and walk away.”
