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Parenting

17th Jun 2017

This mum taught her little girl an epic lesson about ‘fat’

There was no making it a bad word.

Louise Carroll

When this mum heard these words coming from her daughter, she knew it was time for a DMC.

Mum Allison Kimmey was enjoying having fun in the sun with her two children recently but soon the time came to head home. Allison told her children to hop out of the pool but her little girl Cambelle, aged 4, clearly thought this was the worst idea ever.

The little one, evidently frustrated that the fun was over, told her mum that she was fat. Rather than give out to Campelle for uttering these words and using them as a way to anger or hurt her mum, Allison had an alternative method. She explained,

“If I shame my children for saying it then I am proving that it is an insulting word and I continue the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical and undesirable.”

Mum spoke to Campelle in an effort to help her understand the meaning of the words she just used. She said fat does not represent who we are so the phrase ‘you are fat’ is rather misleading. She said that just because someone has more fat on their body compared to someone else doesn’t mean they are any more or less important than the other.

Cambelle did apologise to her mum, while her 6-year-old son Graham made it very clear that he was ‘the skinniest’ and had plenty of muscle too. But mum wasn’t letting anyone away lightly, this was just too valuable a lesson which needed the utmost attention from the two babas. She also felt others could relate and so took to Instagram to share the entire story.

My daughter called me fat today. She was upset I made them get out of the pool and she told her brother that mama is fat. I told her to meet me upstairs so we could chat. Me: “what did you say about me?” Her: “I said you were fat, mama, im sorry” Me: “let’s talk about it. The truth is, I am not fat. No one IS fat. It’s not something you can BE. But I do HAVE fat. We ALL have fat. It protects our muscles and our bones and keeps our bodies going by providing us energy. Do you have fat?” Her: “yes! I have some here on my tummy” Me: “that’s right! So do I and so does your brother!” Her brother: “I don’t have any fat, I’m the skinniest, I just have muscles” Me: “actually everyone, every single person in the world has fat. But each of us has different amounts.” Her brother: ” oh right! I have some to protect my big muscles! But you have more than me” Me: “Yes, that’s true. Some people have a lot, and others don’t have very much. But that doesn’t mean that one person is better than the other, do you both understand? Both: “yes, mama” Me: “so can you repeat what I said” Them: “yes! I shouldn’t say someone is fat because you can’t be just fat, but everyone HAS fat and it’s okay to have different fat” Me: “exactly right!” Them: “can we go back to the pool now?” Me: no ?? __________________ Each moment these topics come up i have to choose how I’m going to handle them. Fat is not a bad word in our house. If I shame my children for saying it then I am proving that it is an insulting word and I continue the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical and undesirable. Since we don’t call people fat as an insult in my household, I have to assume she internalized this idea from somewhere or someone else. Our children are fed ideas from every angle, you have to understand that that WILL happen: at a friends house whose parents have different values, watching a tv show or movie, overhearing someone at school- ideas about body image are already filtering through their minds. It is our job to continue to be the loudest, most accepting, positive and CONSISTENT voice they hear. So that it can rise above the rest. Give me a ?? if this resonated w u! Just do you! Xoxo Allie

A post shared by ALLIE ? Just Do You, Babe! (@allisonkimmey) on