If you have ever gone out in public with your child, then you most likely have been on the receiving end of some unsolicited advice.
The first time it happened to me I was pretty surprised. It would never occur to me to tell some total randomer what to do when it comes to, well, virtually everything. Unless they were accidentally backing their car over another human being I would probably stay far, far away from interfering.
However, what I didn’t realise was that by becoming a mother I was apparently inviting the world in to critique my parenting efforts.
So here’s 10 times a total F*CKING stranger knew how to raise my child (Not that I’m angry or anything)
1. “That child is tired.”
Okaaaayy. Thanks for the info?
2. “You really should breastfeed, it’s the best thing for a baby you know.”
REALLY? Do you actually think that in nine months of pregnancy and six months of parenthood that I’ve never heard that little nugget of wisdom?
3. “That’s Wind.”
How? HOW do you know it’s wind? For all you know he just burped. Okay, I know it’s probably wind but c’mon it’s always wind. You’re stating the obvious.
4. “Does he not have a soother?”
If he had a soother, someone else would be saying “Dummies ruin their teeth and cause obesity.”
5. “That child’s too old for a bottle.”
And I’m too old to be told what to do by a hatchet-faced hag.
6. “He’s very small are you giving him a bit of formula to top him up?”
I have issues with the phrases “topping up”, “sleeping through” and “in my day”, that is all.
7. “That child shouldn’t be eating crisps.”
Okay, I know this is true to some extent but LEAVE me alone. I am preparing nutritious meals ninety f*cking nine per cent of the time. What you are seeing here is a SNAPSHOT of our lives so back off.
8. “Those teething beads are dangerous.”
Yes I think I might strangle you with them.
9. “Spare the rod, spoil the child.”
I am giving in to everything this child demands because I’m too tired to discipline today.
10. “Has he no socks?”
No, despite having bought exactly one million pairs of socks I couldn’t find any in the chaotic hell hole that is our house. I bow down before your wisdom. Please just take him, give him the life that I can’t give him.
