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24th May 2022

Mum confession: I keep this note on my fridge to help me be the mum I want to be

Don't forget what is really important, mama.

Trine Jensen-Burke

my motherhood

Every day my children are getting a little bigger.

Every morning when we wake up they are a little older and a little wiser and a little bit closer to not being my (little) babies anymore.

And while being their mum and watching them grow is amazing – and truly the greatest thing I have ever done – nothing will remind you just how fast time really is whizzing by as having children does. Sometimes, when I look at my 12-year-old girl, I feel almost breathless that she is growing up so fast, when, to me, it feels like only moments ago since she was only little, that she was my baby.

Mum life

The days with young children can be long (oh, how we know!), but the years are so, so short. It is all so easy to forget to stop and just BE when you are so busy with the school run and the work commute and the dinner rush and the toddler tantrums and the homework helping. When work and family and relationships and the daily grind is pulling you in different directions all day every day, and when you are chasing your tail from morning till night.

We are all here. But much as all the logistics and practicalities have to be done, don’t forget to make time for the really important things too. The ones you won’t get back if you always push them to the back of the line. The ones you’ll regret not doing when time has slipped through your fingers.

This poem by Diane Loomans is stuck to my fridge at home, and much life is busy and there are always things to be done, I try to read these words every day and remind myself of what it is that I really need to make time for.

“If I had my child to raise all over again,
I’d finger paint more, and point the finger less.
I’d do less correcting, and more connecting.
I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less, and know to care more.
I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.
I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I’d run through more fields, and gaze at more stars.
I’d do more hugging, and less tugging.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I’d build self esteem first, and the house later.
I’d teach less about the love of power, and more about the power of love.”