Mum ‘devastated’ after son’s pregnant wife ‘bans’ her from the delivery room

"I find myself devastated..."

One mum-in-law has gone above and beyond to try and make sure that she is in the delivery room when her first grandchild is born. And it hasn't gone down too well with just about everyone. The woman explained that her son and his wife were expecting their first child together, which they were due to welcome in a month. And when her son's wife revealed who she wanted in the delivery room with her, the original poster was heartbroken not to be on the list. She's managed to enrage her son, her daughter-in-law as well her daughter-in-law's parents with her response - and wrote to The Slate's agony aunt in the hopes of some help. The woman explained:

"My son, Steven, and daughter-in-law, Julia, are expecting their first child and our first grandchild next month.

"I had what I thought was a good relationship with Julia, but I find myself devastated. "Julia has decided only Steven and her mother will be allowed in the delivery room when she gives birth. "I was stunned and hurt by the unfairness of the decision and tried to plead with her and my son, but Julia says she "wouldn’t feel comfortable" with me there. I reminded her that I was a nurse for 40 years, so there is nothing I haven't seen. "I’ve tried to reason with Steven, but he seems to be afraid of angering Julia and will not help."

But the soon-to-be grandma wasn't ready to give up just yet, and took it a step further by calling 'Julia's' parents for help. Which, unsurprisingly, didn't go over too well. The letter continued:

"I called Julia's parents and asked them to please reason with their daughter, but they brusquely and rather rudely got off the phone. "I’ve felt nothing but heartache since learning I would be banned from the delivery room. "Steven told me I could wait outside and I would be let in after Julia and the baby are cleaned up and 'presentable'. "Meanwhile, Julia’s mother will be able to witness our grandchild coming into the world. It is so unfair." "I’ve always been close to my son, but I no longer feel valued. "I cannot bring myself to speak to Julia. I’m being treated like a second-class grandmother even though I’ve never been anything but supportive and helpful. "How can I get them to see how unfair and cruel their decision is?"

The agony aunt urged the woman to "let it go", reminding her: "this is not about you". She added:

"You can’t! You shouldn’t! You are entirely in the wrong! "I say this in the hopes that, after the initial flush of indignation fades, you will be braced and supported by the realization that you have been acting badly and that you need to change. "It’s difficult to admit when one’s been wrong, but there’s nothing quite so clarifying as figuring out how to do better."