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25th Jan 2016

The 6 Parenting Fears I Seriously Need To Let Go Of

Sharyn Hayden

I wouldn’t ever have considered myself a cautious person, or scared of much to be honest, until I became a parent.

The recklessness of single life obviously has to take a backseat when you are responsible for other little human beings – so that was goodbye to raging nights out, being in denial about needing savings or a pension, scrapping with my partner Alan over every fart and fiddle and surviving on a diet of Chipsticks and cheddar cheese sandwiches.

These days, I don’t drink to excess unless I’m staying somewhere sans kids overnight, I have successfully opened and maintained a savings account for my children’s future, Alan and I are too busy to fight with each other and I’ve learned to cook four edible meals for my family.


However, I find I’m holding back on other really random things, things that I suspect are born of the worry worm we all inherit when we become parents.

Here are the 6 parenting fears that I am determined to get over:

1. That they won’t like the dinners I present to them

I give this SO much attention and worry to the point that I know my eldest is now playing me at dinnertime by pushing his bowl away and refusing to eat until he eventually succumbs to a bowl of Wheetabix before bedtime. I vow to no longer pander to his foodie nonsense, put what everyone else is having in front of him and not falter. He’ll eventually get the message that dinner is dinner, right?

2. That the baby’s cough means we shouldn’t go outdoors today

I know that the decision to not go to the playground, the park or the pool is based on fear and partly my own laziness. My kids always have a bit of a cough or a runny nose and I know in my heart that they would benefit more on every level from being outdoors more than in. So this year, unless there is an actual MONSOON, we the family will get wrapped up and out that door for more fresh air and exercise.


3. That I’m being too hard on them

My four-year-old son is wilful, he really is. He gets fixed on something, such as the idea that he doesn’t want to go to school, and no matter which way I approach it, he will dig his heels in until he is actually bawling and looks like he’s going to throw up. For the most part, I make sure that he does go, but the odd time, I feel so bad that I’m forcing him to do something that he doesn’t want to do, I give in. But that has to stop, right? He can’t have his own way all the time, no siree.

4. That they don’t have enough

I bought the kids a couple of toys in Smyths at the weekend and caught myself with this thought as I paid for them at the checkout; “I haven’t bought them anything for ages”. HELLO?! Christmas was, like, four weeks ago! They have more than enough, and then extra on top of that. Why do we feel as though the kids need more and more stuff all the time? I have to reign that in, big time – or else I’ll be broke!


5. That it’s our fault if the kids are going through a bad phase

Every time Jacob shouts at me that he hates me, or tells me I’m not going to be his best friend anymore, or cries because he doesn’t want to go to see some friends, or has a night terror, I automatically wonder if it is a result of something that Alan and I said or did. The truth is, he could just be asserting himself as a toddler, and I need to stop beating myself up for that one time I answered him with ‘WHAT?!’ instead of ‘Yes, Jacob?’ Fml..

6. That we don’t spend enough time together

No matter whether we’ve spent the entire weekend in each other’s pocket, or slept in the same bed with the kid’s arms firmly wrapped around our necks, the very second that I have to leave for work, or leave the kids with the childminder, I instantly feel as though I never spend enough time with them. This year, I’m working hard to remind myself that I’m entitled to some kid-free time and that we actually spend loads of time with the kids. They alright, aren’t they?

What parenting fears do you have? Share them with us over on Twitter @HerFamilydotie