The REAL Reason Why New Mums Don’t Get Any Help

There is a common point of conversation between parents these days and it is that they aren't on the receiving end of as much help as they would like. Whether it is indifference to their newfound parenthood from immediate family and in-laws, or the feeling of abandonment from old friends - a LOT of parents are feeling neglected. When I look back to when I became a parent for the first time, I remember feeling the opposite for the first while - the outpouring of love and support was EPIC from our loved ones. After Child Number 2 came along.. we didn't receive quite so much epic attention. The general reaction was a bit.. meh. So what changed? Well, we did, I guess, in becoming parents and so did everyone's lives around us while we were at it. They were becoming parents too or starting new jobs, moving homes or generally just getting on with their own beeswax. We didn't invite as much attention and so we didn't receive it. But when it comes to support for new parents (i.e. for the first 12 months of your baby's life, in my opinion), I think we are completely lacking in our communities. Why don't we offer to help each other more, why aren't we more available to be leaned on, and why do we carry on like our lives are way busier and more important than everyone else's? Furthermore, why do us Irish folk INSIST on saying 'No thanks, we're grand' when someone offers to help anyway? Why do we say, 'I've got it covered' when someone makes themselves available? Why do we say, 'Ah I couldn't ask you to do that' when someone says they'd love to babysit? If you continuously block the people who are offering to help now.. eventually, they'll stop offering to help. We're not 'grand', babies are hard work - so let someone walk the dog or wash the dishes or hang the washing out while you get to grips with it all. Who cares if it looks like you don't have your shit together on a particular day? Because I'll tell you a little secret that might help you get over it - NO ONE else has their shit together either, I swear. So just take the help, ok? Join the conversation on Twitter @HerFamilydotie