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Baby names

11th Jul 2018

These are officially the worst baby names and honestly, we can’t get over them

Anna Daly

We have no problems with unusual baby names. Your baby is unique so why shouldn’t their name be? But some parents just go too far.

We are shocked, horrified even, at the name given to a new-born baby recently by the friend-of-a-friend of a woman named Annalise, who then shared the story on an internet forum.

According to Annalise, this friend-of-a-friend decided to name their baby Abcde.

We know.

Annalise told Netmums users about this atrocious baby name. It’s supposedly pronounced Ab-see-di, but seriously, what were they thinking? Who knows? Maybe they’ll name their next child Fghij.

We think this could take the cake for the worst baby name yet. But just to give it a bit of competition, we’ve looked around for the most bizarre and awful baby names making the rounds.

We apologise if your baby’s name makes the list but, honestly, if they do should we really be the ones apologising?

1. Abcde

Don’t do it.

2.Facebook

You know, we’re not even going to comment on this one. No pun intended.

3. Phelony

Changing the f to a ph is not going to take away from the fact that you named your child after a crime. It’s just not.

4. Like

We know we’ve already had Facebook but we just couldn’t leave this one out. This name is creatively inspired by the Facebook ‘Like’ button. Why not go old school? Call your baby ‘Become A Fan’.

5. Ikea

Is it I-kay-a? Is it I-kee-a? Or maybe ee-kay-a?? No one knows!

But do you know what we do know? It’s a shop.

6. Adorabell

Your child’s name is no place for your terrible puns.

7. Chairish

You know what? We see what you were going for here. Cherish is a pretty accepted, if not common, baby name and there’s nothing wrong with a little spelling switch-up now and again.

But this just went terribly wrong. I mean, they’re not even Chair, they’re only Chair-ish. Devastating.

8. Crash

And burn. Which is what we hope this baby name does. Your baby is not a video game. Might as well call them Bandicoot.

9. Zzyzx (it’s pronounced Zayzix)

Maybe this is Abcde’s brother.

Look, if you’re insisting on naming your kid Zayzix, just spell it like that. This looks like your cat just walked over the keyboard.

10. Moo

Boo.

If you are thinking about giving your children any of these names, we highly recommend you reassess your choices. For their sake.