It’s something I’ve often thought about myself.
After giving birth to both of my children my body was absolutely exhausted. All I wanted was to sleep but that was not going to happen.
When I gave birth to my daughter in 2017 I landed back in the ward around one o clock in the morning and I was done in. The baby was placed in the cot beside me but she did not sleep all night. I spent the entire night alone, trying to rock her back to sleep. At one point I almost fell asleep while holding her and jerked myself awake just before she slipped out of my arms.
I was really in no fit state to be looking after her on my own but what other choice did I have? I didn’t understand why my partner couldn’t have stayed overnight with me or at least for a few hours after the birth so I could have some sort of sleep.
Recently a tweet regarding the issue of dads not being able to stay overnight in maternity hospitals went viral and begs the question why can’t they?
My local hospital doesn’t allow partners to stay on postnatal ward after their baby has been born. I think this is outrageous – unfair on the mother; unfair on the father, who’s being made to feel unimportant. He needs to bond too. Do other UK hospitals have this rule?
— Annie Ridout (@annieridout) April 29, 2019
All new mums, regardless of how they gave birth, need to rest afterwards. In places like the United States, newborns are often brought to a nursery by one of the nurses so that mum can sleep and restore her energy.
In Ireland, this is not the case and new mums are thrown straight in at the deep end with very little support. I understand that the nurses and midwives are extremely busy and often understaffed so surely it would only make sense to allow dads to stick around at night after the baby is born.
Both of my children were born at night and all I wanted was for my partner to be able to stay with me, both so I could rest but also for emotional support. I lost a lot of blood during my son’s birth and I was quite shaken up but still, I was put in a ward on my own shortly after I had given birth.
Fathers being asked to leave maternity hospitals in the middle of the night is also unfair to the dads themselves who want to be able to spend time with their new baby. A lot of rural communities share hospitals so fathers may not even live close to the hospital meaning long commutes there and back unless they find accommodation nearby.
It’s a nonsensical rule that I think needs to change for the health and well being of mum and baby and so new dads can properly bond with their new baby.
