Putting pen to paper and writing your life story, then editing the parts that caused you the most stress could be the key to happiness, according to researchers.
World-renowned US social psychologist Tim Wilson of the University of Virginia believes adjusting and changing your personal story can help you get past pessimism and shake the negative feelings associated with memories of past mistakes or defeats.
In his book Redirect: The Surprising New Science of Psychological Change, Wilson explains that “redirecting” the stories we tell about ourselves could help improve education and parenting skills, reduce crime and teen pregnancies and even drug and alcohol abuse.
Speaking to Scientific American, Professor Wilson said “We all have personal stories about who we are and what the world is like. These stories aren’t necessarily conscious, but they are the narratives by which we live our lives. Many of us have healthy, optimistic stories that serve us well. But sometimes, people develop pessimistic stories and get caught in self-defeating thinking cycles, whereby they assume the worst and, as a result, cope poorly. The question then becomes how to help people revise their negative stories.”
The Professor believes that writing about our experiences and how we deal with them is key to coming to terms with who we are. The technique is also effective in helping children to overcome fears or disappointments. For instance, if a child is upset at having lost a special toy, rewrite the story with one small edit: the toy ended up going to a child who had no toys. Editing the story helps to take the anxiety out of events, allowing us to move on.
Here’s how to do it:
1 Choose an event in your past that irritates you or a memory that you’ve been avoiding. Write about it for 15 minutes.
2 The following day, repeat the process, changing your story slightly by being more honest with yourself.
3 Repeat this process for four days until the event becomes less confusing or troubling and you can interpret them a little differently.
4 Tear up your notes and throw them away.
Read: Redirect: The Surprising New Science of Psychological Change, €14.50, Easons. Written by Timothy D. Wilson, this book offers practical advice that has been proven to give real results.
Watch Professor Wilson discuss how learning to redirect or edit our personal stories could lead to life-transforming changes in the way we see things.
