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13th Mar 2015

JOB SPEC: looking for a dedicated member to join a team for 135+ hours per week?

"This could be an exciting new opportunity for someone looking for an all-encompassing role"

Would you like to join an exciting team of hard-working people, in a fast-paced environment?

This could be an exciting new opportunity for someone looking for an all-encompassing role:

The successful candidate will:

  • Be mobile – the candidate will work standing up for the majority of the day or until they almost collapse into bed.
  • Have a high level of stamina – the candidate will CONSTANTLY be on the move, bending down, picking things up all day, exerting themselves to an extremely high level.
  • Have excellent and powerful negotiation skills, while simultaneously interpreting a foreign language.
  • Be able to wear several hats simultaneously.
  • Hold a degree in medicine, finance and the culinary arts.
  • Be comfortable working in a chaotic environment.
  • Be happy never going to the toilet alone ever again.

Responsibilities will include:

  • Working 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
  • No breaks are available.
  • Lunch may only be consumed when the candidate’s teammates are finished eating lunch. And possibly standing up.
  • The candidate’s teammates require constant attention. The candidate may be required to stay up with a teammate throughout the night. Several nights per week.
  • There are no holidays offered. In fact, even though you may be working in a different environment, workload will increase during holiday periods, particularly Christmas, Hallowe’en and Easter.
  • The candidate must have a cheerful disposition AT ALL TIMES. And be 100 per cent patient, no matter what.
  • If the candidate currently has ANY kind of a social life, we would ask that it is given up.

This role is unpaid.

Please send your CV and Cover Letter. Closing date for applications is this Mother’s Day, Sunday March 15 at 5pm.

What if we told you someone actually held this position currently? In fact hundreds of millions of people around the world. MUMS.

Mums meet ALL of these requirements all day every day. Without complaint. And without pay.

Think of your own Mum. Give her a call this Mother’s Day to thank her for everything.