‘My teen daughter told me she’s going to have sex for the first time’

Anna Martin

Having the sex talk with your kids can be tough

It doesn’t matter how close you guys are, sometimes it just feels plain awkward.

So how would you react if your teenager turned around and told you they were planning to have sex for the first time?

That is exactly what one mother is trying to figure out and she’s turned to Reddit for help.

Explaining her situation, the mystery woman wrote, “I’m a single mom and it’s just been my daughter and I for years.

“So we have always had a very close and open relationship. I’ve tried my best to help her be informed and independent so she can grow to make good choices in life.”

The two are so close that on the way to school, her daughter informed her of her plans to have sex for the first time.

Continuing her story she wrote, “Today I was dropping her off for school, she mentioned her long term guy friend (not bf, just long term friend) will be coming over after school and she plans to have sex for the first time.

“She wasn’t asking my permission, just telling me. I didn’t know how to respond, so she got out of the car. I am at a loss for what to do here. I feel like she is too young, but I also know if they want to do it, they are going to find a way.

“Should I try to stop this, try to talk her out of it, or be supportive and make sure they are safe?”

Despite knowing the boy her daughter plans to sleep with, it seems like the mother is still worried about her daughter as she added, “I have known him for a long time, he is a great kid and I doubt there is any coercion going on.

“But I still don’t know if I should let this happen.”

Her fellow Redditors came back with helpful messages and advice for the mum to try to both calm herself and keep her daughter safe.

“I’d focus your conversation around safety and consent vs whether she should or not, and try to see this as a positive that she was comfortable to tell you. I certainly wouldn’t have told my mom anything of the sort!” wrote one.

Another penned, “Advice will depend on her age. If she’s younger (13-15), have a long conversation with her to make sure she isn’t being coerced, and talk about the benefits of waiting a little longer. Also, make sure she has birth control.”

A third seemed to second this opinion penning, “Honestly, it’s very cool that your daughter is comfortable enough to tell you this information. It’s also great that she’s comfortable having such a milestone moment in your house.

“I’d rather my child have their first time in my house, with someone I know, and it be done safely rather than in some bar bathroom or the back seat of a car.”