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Parenting

12th Nov 2016

What I’ve Learned About Motherhood: Aisling O’Loughlin

Sive O'Brien

In conversation with Aisling. 

“A life of servitude teaches you humility, empathy, and grace. Basically, it knocks the asshole out of you! That kid bawling and squealing on the plane no longer annoys you; your sympathy is with the parents, and you offer to help instead of scowl.

Your heart is with the refugees fleeing war because you know how hard it is to look after a child with every comfort in the world. You can’t imagine the struggle and the challenges those parents face. You want to help. You see how tired those children look. It is devastating. You’re plugged into humanity in a way you never imagined before.

Being a parent helps you re-live your own childhood in the most delightful way. Watching your little ones splashing foam in the bath brings joy to your heart. Watching them blow bubbles and hearing those shrieks of laughter centres you in an uncertain and dark world. Protecting them becomes your life. You are hyper aware, ‘There but for the grace of God, go I.’ You love all children now. You want to mind them all. You despair that life is so unfair.

The news is scary.

Donald Trump becoming the 45th President of the USA makes your heart heavy. You know he is dangerous. You knew when George W Bush took over the Oval Office bad things were coming down the track. You know it now. You want to believe all will be ok but you don’t want to be stupid. Vladimir Putin being one of the first to congratulate President Trump sends a chill down your spine.

You hate bullies but they seem to be in charge of the world, and you want a more evolved, thoughtful place for your children, where people are emotionally intelligent and where the ultimate aim is to conserve the planet and respect it like we’ve never done before.

You know time is running out on that front, and it frightens you.

You know making magic moments is up to you, so you try a bit harder, turn off the TV, put down the phone, get down on your honkers and play. Have fun. Laugh. Be silly. Listen. The time is now.

It is also a time where mothers all over the world have a voice for the first moment in history thanks to the Internet. For all its ills, it’s also a platform for change, and you know having a voice matters. Even if you’re talked down, told you’re stupid, told your ugly, speaking up matters. Your opinion matters. In fact, you’re realising your knowledge, thanks to motherhood, runs deep and is sacred and should be respected. You know that if there were more women in charge, the world would be a better place. You know the only way to do that is to change the system because patriarchy doesn’t work, for anyone, not even for men and certainly not for the planet.

You know that loving is not being soft, that kindness is more about strength than weakness.

You’re no eejit. You want in, and you’re not going to put up with any more nonsense.

Afterall, momma knows best.”

Aisling O’Loughlin has just launched her own lifestyle website, Exquisite.ie

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